"and I'm just surviving...."14th January'12 @ 0012
My selected picture above explains it all----yeah i got to blog in order to be able to doze off today.Well,after giving a long pause to blogging,I'm gonna reveal how life is as a junior house officer.
Life is....not a bed of roses,that's for sure.Be prepared to get blamed for others mistakes,be prepared to do extra job besides yours(inlcuding others'),be prepared to be thrown into an active ward where you're left ALONE,be prepared to get sarcastic remarks from patients who only think you as a health care 'service' provider...hey,what happened to the words 'noble' and 'doctor'?
When I started off last October,the first week was a nightmare....I had the slightest idea of the local hospital system and being a foreign graduate,to get adapted to the current Malaysian system was a tedious task.I never once had imagined,you got to become like the 'staff nurse' in filling up lab forms and sometimes rush down to the blood bank to get the blood reserves for transfusion and that's after having spoken to the MO.But again,I think I would have done the job better when at times they don't even send the specifically ordered tests:UFEME,stool C&S,AFB direct smear etc unless you bug them every time and that's after you had checked in the system;not sent..so what happens next?Face your specialist and MO for their further remarks...there are just too many documentations and paper work and things to be done in wards.at times you just wish you could split yourself into two so that you can punch out at 5 pm on normal days.In addition to that,grumpy and stubborn patients who just love to pull out their venofix!!
Morning rounds not so beneficiary when you have a specialist whom doesn't give a damn about house officers.He comes in with stethoscope in hand,marches straight to the acute cubicle,reviewing the case with HO in charge and MO besides him and get all out to the house officer when somethings are not clear.Now tell me,how can you actually stay focused when you are being given non-stop pressure...House officers become like a machine who work 12 hours a day with minimal learning process..yes you do get to do procedures in medical wards,at times you;re alone and when you attempted on something for the very first time and go wrong,how do you even can rectify it?what ever happened to the "First,do no harm' by Hippocrates?Discharges,tracing results and running for microb lab causes immense fatiguability by the end of the day and all that you want to do is to SLEEP!
I have told myself 'as long as my passion remains the same till the end,I will be able to make it" and i Hope it will be granted.Don't get fooled by the cool and captivating scenes featured in the tv shows on how cool and glamorous it is to be a doctor...it pays and consumes more than that...only those going through it will be able to understand it.
Perhaps things will get far more better soon,alas if you wanna take up a profession of doc,think thrice before getting into one.I will never discourage anyone but you will be missing your life once the word 'medicine' sets into your mind..so beware!!
At times I wish I have a second degree to fall on--being a novelist,sitting on Eiffel Tower,looking down at the beautiful Paris and write a book or travel around the world as a novelist...what a life right?I wish I have such type of life instead of having palpitations every morning when I step into my ward.
Currently,I'm surviving,yeah still sticking to my 1st reminder: survived.surviving.will survive.
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