a year ago…down the memory lane…

*30th October’10 after midnight…it’s snowing..from my room’s window…*

30th October’10 @ 19.33

Did you know..procrastination or better to say when you miss an exam date,everything else get adjourned too?Though gynae cycle was my 1st cycle,I only can get done with my exam in the next coming 2 weeks.All was because of internal exam and when I decided to get gynae done last Monday,the doctor didn’t show up due to overwhelming workload(i assume) and only turned up after we left the hospital..damn!!! I so wanted to get it done so that I’d be able to revise my other subjects which need my equal attention too,but now…at least,I was done reading and going through them,now all i got to do is to reinsert them in my mind and obviously,MEMORISE every single fact of it…I’m not spared here,let’s do it and finish it and be free from exams till GOC exams in spring!!

New subject in 11th semester was Occupational Diseases for 6 days.I enjoyed listening to Prof.Troshen’s lectures and classes as I regard him,someone who wants to pass his wide knowledge to us.The symptoms of pneumoconiosis can mimic bronchitis symptoms,can resemble X-ray image of TB…what will happen if you misdiagnose it?all in all,I enjoyed the classes and still attending his lectures though to be honest I nearly fell asleep(but i swear,I didn’t) on his first lecture-Introduction to Occupational diseases..the statistics and graphs are just too much to comprehend

Currently with internal cycle-guess this semester,Group 631E is the floating group but on the bright side,we can have the taste of having different doctors in ‘drilling’ us.Part 1 for 5 days of internal medicine ended with Dr.Tatyana,my favourite internal lecturer ever.One of a kind and definitely the best.Second part of Internal Medicine continues with Dr.Panova,started on Friday and I believe it will go on smoothly.She’s equally as good as Dr.Tatyana-she just enjoys diverting her talk from DM to other issues and finally will get back to DM.I could see the vast knowledge in her and perhaps she is an avid reader of anything that concerns about health!!!We were informed earlier that our classes with her will be lasting only till 12th Nov,and that’s like for only 2 weeks from now on?..so who’s next in charge of us?Dr.Ilya,Dr.Petrov or the almighty Dr.Andrevna?Ain’t this internal medicine cycle of mine is peaking its hiatus of suspense?I shall see what happens next in 2 weeks time…

Next Friday will be Diwali..yes,my last Diwali abroad.Yippee..after this,my colourful Diwali with dad,mum,ragu,uncles,aunties,cousins,and my relatives---I just can’t to be back home next year!!!

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CSI casts.

*an aborted foetus*

*abraded wound on the extremity*

10th Oct'10 @ 1310

10.10.10-I got to make an entry today!!what's the big buzz about this day?I've no clue but all i know this so called 'i-dont-know-why' it's so important date is just all over my fb feeds..so let's make it a 'memorable' one by publishing an entry.

Recently,I'm having Forensic sciences cycle.It's been almost 2 weeks and I only have another 3 more days to end this cycle.Pretty much sad,because I'm actually enjoying this cycle very much..ask me why?for a couple of reasons I would state-1stly,it's my most relaxing cycle(no preparation is needed before classes the following days,unlike many other subjects),2ndly-forensic science was my option besides medicine during my form 6 days and 3rdly-the classroom and what we do in the class is way to cool--:), 4th-this branch of science plays a major role in medicine= in a criminology aspect:) 5th-the lecturer(we got his name all wrong in our case reports)..darn,and yeah he was actually a very easy going guy,compared to how he is in lectures..very schematic indeed and he actually checks the attendance one by one.One setback: it's very hard to rewrite whatever he was reading out(he reads only once) and his terms and pronounciations~

1st day of class-AWESOME,it was my first day of live autopsy.Corpse was found dead in his apartment.I got a better insight on how they do the post mortem from top to toe,from external investigation to inner investigation.56 year old,alcoholic man,with vomitting mass on his shirt,mouth,hemorrhages in his eyes,edema of the brain and lung.the final diagnosis was:death due to aspiration caused by alcohol.We passed up a case report after a week.And I realised,there's a very thin line or maybe there's no difference between a butcher and a forensic doctor.

the following practical classes were only in the class.THe class room is creepily cool with dead models on display,type of weapons used(real ones),schemes of how to make diagnosis,type of wounds found on the corpses,extracted organs with defects~

As much as I'm enjoying the classes,soon I will be having a very hectic cycles coming up-next week on thursday onwards will be started with occupational diseases for another 6 days before getting myself fully committed to internal medicine.

I think I missed out this prime line---"OMG,IT's ALREADY OCTOBER!!!!":))))))))) *big and wide smile of mine*

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37 more weeks to GO!!!!

*soon home for good...:)))))*

25th September'10 @ 0213

holla bloggie!!! a very good morning to ya:))))This is my 1st free weekend after 3 weeks of my struggle to complete my internal and I made it!!:))) officially a 6th year and just another 37 weeks to go before i return home for good~ wow,time will certainly fly very fast,without me realising it...as for now,i've been having my post exam syndrome and brain is demanding for a break before I get started on my gynae exam.Gynae exam will be my last exam in my 6 years of med school!!!(and I've excluded state exams here!)..

As I was having my daily rides to obs hospital in aftozavod,I know this autumn will be my last one here.I can never deny that,I will be missing the awesome weather here especially during autumn and spring.Winter has been my favourite too but not when the weather drops to the core.I simply love walking here unlike back at home where i'd insist on a ride even to a nearby shop.

Secondly,Russian hunks!!! OMG,these guys are certainly cute(i'm saying this again in my 6th year!!).Despite their cuteness,what actually draws a girl towards them?From my perspective,they respect girls much(atleast they don;t whistle whilst a girl is passing by unlike in Malaysia) and when they actually stop their vehicles to let you cross the road:)Good values should be treasured and Russians are good samaritans too with an excpetion of few black sheep(s).I will be missing "zakiah,tengok..comel la" callings once June 2011 comes..:p

3rdly,the doctors whom I respect and look up all the time.Final meeting up face to face will be with them for my state exam next may and then..i"m done~nO more adrenaline rush to face them in order to answer exam questions,no more the mighty Dr.Andrevna who will be laughing hastily at your so called 'immature' answers.These mentors cant be replaced ever.When others say these mentors pick on students,I took it in a more positive way...all i can say,I want to be like them especially soemone like Dr.Andrevna.Perhaps I'd be hated but who cares?It's the knowledge and the approach to safe a life,is what matters.Though there's always been a double standard when it comes to Russian graduates,I'd like to emphasize here that Russia thought us something more than just studies---it's all about facing the challenges in life with a determined courage.I can;t say I'm fully prepared for next year but I know I'm still learning and I'd strive for the best till i reach my aim.:)

Last but not least,I'm sure now I'd be missing my room 410 much more when now I'm having my 5 years+++ room ONLY to MYSELF.It just feels like I'm in my room back at home.Yeay:)

Thank you very very much kok meng,zakiah and soo ching for helping me to refurbish my room:) thanks,guys:)

Okay I better put a stop and hit my comfy bed...and finally I could let the lights on while I'm sleeping..no more worrying about anything!!!!:)))))) nites:)

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FINAL YEAR!!!!!:)

*a life time dream...*

21st August'10@1353

The jolly and excited mood is fading off day by day as the days are coming closer for me to board the plane next sunday at 2am.Summer holidays of 2010 is coming to an end.Though part of me wants to stay longer here in my home,I'm actually excited to embark into my final year and come back to Malaysia with a scroll after 10 months.Still...who'd resist holidays,am I right?

I came back with loads of plan(kind of organised) to be done over the holidays but darn!!!I was at my worst by being an incredible procrastinator...well,maybe I shouldn';t exaggerate too much but nita,you didn't go according to your plan and you gotta admit that!First of all,i didn't expect this year there'd be too many family reunions where I had to travel practically every weekend.I didn't expect I will be having one day road trip to KL/teluk intan.Trip to teluk intan,I don't mind..anytime!but to go to other places,I'd rather stay in my comfort zone--my home and in my room.

I wasn't really bored staying without ragu at home.Dad and mum have been a great companion.I enjoyed it very much though we only spent time at home,before going to bed(this is one thing i will miss very much,long chats and disturbings before sleeping) and dining at restaurants.No family outings since ragu is all the way in USM prior to his 3rd year new sem.Snippets among the days been outings with my besties and all in all,holidays were fun--a quiet and been a decision making period.What's with all this new things right?But,I got into dad and mum's mind and I know what they want.So,let everything happen as it have been planned instead of if it's mean to be,it will certainly happen once for real.

Final year and let's make it a memorable one.All the best to me.

*whatever that's on it's way to me,you're welcome and will be part of my life cycle.Whatever that might be.*

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over the years...

-I must grasp more-

1520 @ 31st July'10

Screw me for posting an entry almost a month ago and finally after a request from shalu,I decided to make an entry today.A month has gone and another month is on its way..august!!!Not looking forward,wasn't expecting time to pass by me fast,but on another thought,this time,it will be my last and final 'go-back' to my 2nd home: Russian Fed for my final year of my 6 years of medical studies.Happy,extremely happy but I know for definite that I will be missing Nizhny,memories of being abroad +medical studies+new friends+ETC+euro tours are the very few things which I will be missing much.I've had a fair share in all these.

Another phase of life is waiting for me eagerly.A Doctor's life.I know it won't be any easier.I used to mourn during high school days,"damn,I'm stressed..."...during form 6 :"man,how am I going to get through these subjects?It's way stressful than form 5"...But now in Medic line,I realised the true meaning of "STRESS".That's when I came to my self-realisation" "should have studied more harder,yes harder and harder..." and now the dissatisfaction still lingers in my mind whenever it gets a chance to invade me..medic studies,no joke -i always have these 'threatening voices' in my mind saying -you gotta do well,you will be dealing with lifes----what could be more frightening than this right?The mass evolution of medicine nearly every day proves the fact that a physician has something new to learn every day.Being a Junior Doctor,I won't claim myself as the superior one.Still,I would admit humbly:I still have a long way to go.6 years of studies which will be coming to an end next year in June,is just the beginning.The real drama of my life will enfold soon...

JUly'11,I know I will be busy preparing all the necessities to start my new life.I know I will be waiting more anxiously to receive my posting letter from MMA,I know I will be packing to move out (if I ever get posted to elsewhere besides in ipoh),I know I will be spending most of my life in hospitals,I know I will be having a very little time for my family and friends,I know I wont be able to just drive and meet up with my buddies at a mall after a ring(like now!)...a busy bee's life(perhaps 100 fold than that is peeping at me)..I chose this,yes I know but now for sure I can tell that---for the past 22 years of my life;books have played the major role and life has become more serious,I wish it's less serious and less demanding(slight regret is there,to be honest ).

Medical studies and memories cannot be separated.Memories can keep us alive though at times it can be pretty ugly.What all of us need is a memorable one.So the best is,keep the beautiful ones which gave you the happiest moment in life and throw the rest away.Things and people will change,hence don't compromise--you got ur life to live on,let the other person to mend and change their life for better.Nature of forgiving shouldn't be taken for granted...stand firm with ur decisions,don't hold any grudges on others(even on ur enemies),focus in what u have to do and be who you are,but when you have to EXPLODE,please don't bottle up ur anger.Let it go.

I'm not a philosopher wanna-be,just an ordinary girl..I'm not superior/great but I will always remain as me for years to come.I don't throw people out of my life but expect the unexpected when you mistreat me.:)

Well,I'm very much looking forward for tomorrow for an outing with aud,sathia,vicks..5 days at home with the idiot box playing and airing some crappy movies,is just too much to bear with..can't wait to see the rest tomorrow..gonna have a long day outing and surely will be missing those absentees;shalu,sree,subha,anne....okay,signing off for now.

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from my comfy room...

*in vicks myvi on 3rd July'10*

*1st incomplete reunion on 27th June'10*

9th July'10

It's going to be 2 weeks since my return for summer break.No practicals for 2 months like any other years..so I was/am lazing at home.With my bestest girlfriend at home now 24/7,I'm being fed with the most tempting home made foods in order to make me gain weight...I'm enjoying myself being pampered that way and what could be most relaxing than just resting my head on daddy's chest before I say 'good nite,daddy,ma'.

Outings were good with my buddies.Had abundant fun and catching up with each other.This year's reunion will be so incomplete for the very first time as the actual date has not been set.I know subha,vicks and anne are waiting anxiously for 17th July for us to gather for lisa's wedding.

Lisa,a school mate of mine--->same age as me,sent her wedding and reception invitations message via fb.Yeah,me too pretty much looking forward for 17th but only one thing is holding me back and the reason---all of us gotta be in sarees...ermm,now how am I going to last in saree for hours?I had good experience 3 years ago for Sis Padma's wedding but now being 24+++,I think it is appropiate to clad saree to attend functions especially when you are 'complelled' by your besties!!..Shalu and lava will be coming down for the wedding and to my dismay,that probably will be my first and last chance of meeting up with them.

Week days: my time is all occupied with dad mum and ragu and weekends(past 2 weeks),I was out with my buddies and spent jolly good time and definitely more food and reunions(family and friends) to be enjoyed and treasured:))))

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At the Extreme Hiatus...

*do we look professional enough?*-days of ophthalmology rotation (photo by-sarah repin,thank you:) )

25th May'10@0300

This blog post of mine might be the first and the last for the month of May.I need plenty of extra hours each day(my ever humble request),when it will be granted?I know I'm back in here after an interval of 1 month..neither I am left without anything to be blogged nor losing the passion for words,but the most explainable reason is-I'm at the RUSH HOUR of the year.The time has come,with just 2 weeks away before exams of the 10th semester to commence.With not any lighter or lightest subjects,I've been balancing these two papers.Least had I expected that Infectious Diseases exam will wall just a week apart from the massive paper of the semester-Internal Medicine.

Ophthalmology rotation officially ended a week ago when I completed the exam last monday.I enjoyed learning about the eye under the associate professor.The days of ophthalmology were fun when I finally got my hands on the slit lamp,ophthalmoscope, learned how to measure the visual acuity,visual field.Yet,any invasive procedures(ophthalmic surgeries),parabulbar and subconjunctival injections will surely to send chills down my spine.They never turn me off but just the thought of 'how could these delicate organs stand such traumatic(?) procedures?' Dear Heart,I still root for you no matter what!!!:)Nevertheless,for the purpose of learning,I'm in for ANYTHING.

Madam Dugina's sacred line " Discipline is the mother of success".Guess mine has doubled or increased more once the month of May begun.Others can wait but I'm not denying, I'm missing something and I know what it is:).

You got to excuse me now,I will be having only 2 hours of sleep today before I get ready for my 1st day of Gynaecology rotation.It's going to be a long day with Internal lecture till 4.30pm.And I'm still awake?--gonna hit my bed now.At times even I myself,very much amazed at the amount of energy I have in me!!!

Good night(good morning).

*I'm thirsty for knowledge and I want to learn more*

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