Love and Dream.

                                                   Love and Dream...:) a revisit needed..

19th December 2012 @ 2235

I grew up being  someone who craves for novels.I love them to the extreme.My first ever most sought after novelist during teen age was Franchine Pascal who penned down more than 50 books of Sweet Valley Twins.The teen novels were hot selling books in the MPH/Popular or any book stores.I remember being a weekly visitor to the state public library to grab as many books as I could as Dad totally had a different opinion on buying novels with price tag,well who wouldn't when I don't re-read the novels subsequently they  just end up being lifelessly paraded on my shelves.Selfishly,I used to hide the books on top of the shelves in library so no one could lay their hands on the novels till I finish reading them.Yes,I know I was being selfish but...:)Exchanging books with friends became another alternative...those were the days of living in fairy tale world which took me to Sweet Valley High and Sweet Valley University.As I advanced further,Sidney Sheldon and Michael Crichton(the creator of ER) came into the picture and replaced Franchine Pascal.A high school student once I was,novel reading was minimised but  at every chance I could get,checking out new novels has always been my favourite agenda on my outings.

In Medic School days,when I was freezing in my 410 during winter on semester breaks,the-just-nice-warm temperature of the room from the heater,a cup of coffee with slowly tuned on favourite collections of songs in the background,cuddling under the blanket with a good novel had always been the most memorable and best activities which I had always looked forward.As you would have guessed,as you grow older,your interests changes and Danielle Steel and Cecelia Ahern soon joined my list of best authors ever and I'm totally engrossed with them that  a month ago I even bought few books online..this time around,Dad didn't say anything,of course;)

The big names of authors which I mentioned earlier inspire me to read more and to become like them.I've always been marvelled at the thought of how imaginative one can be having had published novels which captivate the hearts of many.The touch of words and imagination is indescribable.All I can say,they are gifted personnel:) They bring us into their world of creativity.I learned the beauty of Paris from the novels I read which made me all in love with Paris and I was struck with awe when I visited the city and I would love to revisit the mesmerizing city once again.The western authors bring life to the novels.I could feel their admiration and love towards their countries when each plot of the novel were narrated in their own countries..Cecelia Ahern hails from Ireland wherelse Danielle Steel from Paris:)

Friday nights parties were encrypted in my mind based on their novels.It felt too good to read the novels and nothing seemed more interesting than those novels.I could go on reading without having have to take a break as how much these authors had made difference in their each novels.A good novel certainly makes one day better and I have 3 books waiting in line to be finished.I wish I have the time to just spread a sheet beside a crystal clear beach,and without any doubt,under a shady palm tree and lay down with a novel in my hand.How I wish so badly for that to happen!Prolly,a good vacation is all that I need!

Fairy tale stories of Cinderella is an all time favourite.Fairy tales,you wish your life is as it is how penned down in it.Nothing seems imperfect..everything is just so fine,with an happy ending in the end no matter how impossible it would have seem in the beginning.Novels put reality check in each read,they make you go all out so that you could feel the plot.Novels give you mixed emotions as you flip through each pages.

A good write wins the thumbs up of many as how an amazing read makes one day.

To all the extraordinary novelists,keep your most creative imagination running as not everyone is gifted like you.Entertain us,the readers as passion for reading a worthy novel will never wean off with time.

Perhaps,one day I will publish a novel with my own words?:)..Yes,that's one of my dreams:A Perfect spot on Eiffel Tower-a pen-blank A4 papers-whilst looking down the beautiful Paris:)

A Dream Of Mine.

 :)

2333

Live a HAPPY life!

13th June 2012 @ 2326

Been awhile since my last post.Finally I'm on 3rd day of my end posting break.Done with 2 postings,3rd one awaiting to be joined this sunday.

Been in a sheer dire to post an entry and with daily dramas that I have been encountering,I have decided to  put up few tips and suggestions on ways to live a happy life.There are as mentioned below:

-Be who you really are

-Be surprised by something everyday

-Believe you are worthy of achieving your goals

-Be thankful for atleast one thing everyday

-Make friendship a priority in life

-Mistakes happens.Learn from them

-Love Extensively and expansively

-Move...Get of the sidelines and get into the flow

-Celebrate yourself everyday

-Live in a place that's inspiring and colorful

-Enjoy what you do and do it well

-Keep your dreams alive

-Hang out with funny friends

-Focus on actions instead of rewards

-Live a life full of passion and enthusiasm

-Slow down.Enjoy the simple things in life

-Learn to like people who are different than yourself

-Play...remember the kid you were.

-Cultivate curiosity and desire to learn new things

-Surround yourself with people who will build you up

-Do things that make you feel great!

-Spend more time doing things that you like

-Relax.Lighten up.Don't take yourself too seriously

-Be cheerful.Spread smiles.

-Take care of yourself.Eat well.Exercise.Rest.

-Cultivate positive emotions.

-Never dwell on your past.Always look forward

-Learn when to say 'Yes' and 'No'

-See possibilities in the starkest hour

-Savour every moment

- Keep life simple and love true

-Diversify.Have several things going on at once.

-Relate to others with warmth

-Dance and sing for every reason or for no reason

-Forgive and forget

-Be responsible.Have as few regrets as possible

-Expect wonderful things to happen

-Always be grateful.Appreciate what you have

-Give yourself a lazy day.Do nothing

-Be at peace with yourself

-Trust that you will always have more than you need

-Go where your heart leads you.

Aren't those aforementioned simple rules are awesome?I got them from the calendar like chart which was purchased from Popular bookstore.Motivation and inspiring thoughts are essential in daily life and I made it a point to swing the calendar to left  and right before pointing to one box with closed eyes before my day begins everyday!

Life has been good and there's not much of complaints..looking forward for new days to enfold for new opportunities and experiences:) 

p/s:what matters THE most is to prioritize yourself than anything else.

2344

Not sure anymore.

"it's ironic,years of waiting to be unleashed,only to realise later on,it's better to be protected under the watchful eyes..."

19th March'12 @2252

Life is really funny you know.Many of us(including me,yes underline that me word) in our teen days:
- wanted to be out of parents supervision despite knowing ourselves being brats
-wanted to do things on our own even when it's beyond our limits
-wanted to be able to make up our decisions without being told what to do
-wanted to experience the outer world earlier because of our endless curiosity
-used to contemplate hard why "I'm not allowed to do so?"
-in short,we just wanted to grow up fast/better still wanted to be an adult when others took the responsibilites to be one

* we just couldn't wait to grow up as from outlook,it's COOL to be an adult than being a child.

However,
Once we're adult,
* all that were once so promisingly took us to the 'adulthood' with much admiration and hope,just slipping away..

Honestly,
-I am not sure what's right/wrong
-I don't understand the world,seriously!
-I couldn't comprehend how human betray others' trust and break their hearts
-I simply can't digest how people could be so inhuman/jerks ..and there're alot of them to make life of others ugly

To cut it short,I'M NOT SURE ANYMORE OF WHAT PREVIOUSLY I WAS VERY MUCH CERTAIN ABOUT.

My entry today pretty sucks,I know it but like i have told earlier,I'm not sure anymore and humans are incomprehensible creatures hence I couldn't care more to explain.

2311

single or double?!

26th September'11 @ 1149

If there is a debatable topic that never loses attention from it's readers,it has to be the evergreen topic on "marriage or staying single?".2 days ago,it was once again published in the most widely read TheStar.Like always,the writer always finds his way out after making up an entry.Smart move by the writer- by writing on the both sides of the story but what I liked best about that particular person who penned down his/her thoughts-everything was written in a more positive remarks on interviewed opinions of the outsiders.Too fantasy-like to be real,you might wonder?But isn't that a good motivator for someone who's planning to get hitched?Otherwise,we have our very own command of ourselves to agree or disagree.However,something just crossed my mind at this very moment and now it got me thinking.Wait...perhaps the writer was biased because the printed names of the interviewers are all women's!!!Now..where he/she(the writer of the column) is getting to?

What is/are the reason(s) of choosing only women to participate on finding a resolution for this topic?Isn't it supposed to be a 2 way street approach?Well,prolly..the writer thought only women will give the most honest and idealistic answers to his/her questions? or can it be he/she couldn't find any males on his/her hunt? or he/she only wanted what actually a carrier/modern women think about marriage?...

Centuries ago,marriage was a necessity in life as women are the housewives and men were the sole breadwinners of the families.In certain ethnic families or best example in India ( and I heard it is still being practiced till now in rural and traditional villages) whereby,once a child is born,he/she (most of the baby girl) will be 'unofficially married' to the near-related cousins,regardless of the age.It is believed the husband and wife bond has been established from the birth and once the girl attains her puberty,she will be officially married and sent off to her husband's house...and by that time,she would probably just a 12 year old kid,an age when she should be studying/enjoying her teen days.That wasn't an epic story but sadly certain things can't be changed even at this modern era.

I remember very clearly,during my Form 6 MUET classes,we were given a topic for discussion by our most respectable mentor,Mrs.Anna which sent giggles and soft roars from all of us when we heard the title " which one is better?staying single or getting married?".Believe me more than half of the class chose the former,including me.The pretty,tall,slim Indian lady stood still looking at the show of hands on voting for 'staying single'.As she was counting silently the number of raised hands,she smiled and finally she chose few of us to come in front of the class and read out our points.As you would have guessed;girls,we said something very much in common: WE HAVE MORE TIME FOR OURSELVES.Mrs Anna's verdict : "Girls,let everything happen naturally and you got to experience every single phase of life".

Marriage takes up lots commitments and there are many failed marriages because people got married for the sake of getting into one.The mass media,peer,family and society pressure are what drives one to get married when one is not even able to fend for himself.Every new phase in life appears to be exciting and fun at the beginning but it tends to fade as it gets to become a routine and maybe the cause of boredom, and that's when many unexpressed words were hurled at each other.I think one shouldn't let 3rd party to decide what's best for himself/herself.There's always bright and dark side in every event that takes place in your life,do what you think is good for you.Want to get married when you're think you're fully up for it?Go for it and make sure to sustain the relationship and appreciate the other half of you till the last breath of yours.

Since this is my post,I'd like to make a very natural-opinion based entry,still with a tinge of a young lady's personal view .The woman of new age which I'm portraying here is someone who's humble despite her success,firm and determined with her stand. Women tend to detest marriage not because of their superiority feeling being a renowned corporate/working ladies,but it's because what they've been hearing,seeing,experiencing and exposed to.Leave behind television with their never ending romance filled movies,certain mega serials can stretch for years with only episodes of love,hatred,vengeance...arrghh,sickening.When you hear stories of breakups from your besties,you'll tend to grow apart from the thought of wedding bells.Personally when it happens to you,the final decision will be made not to get yourself attached with any emotionally related relationships.

Life is not as simple as how they telecast in tv or how it is aired or it is written in the newspapers/magazines.It summons up whatever that's with and in you to take up a commitment of life time and in order to not let yourself feel fooled or taken for granted because you definitely need the best.Cosmopolitan women are not arrogant/ignorant/snobbish(well not all,mind you).We are still well-virtued.All that being asked from the XY population is,accept women as they are.Recognise the ability,respect them and treat them equally.Why do you have to feel inferior when a woman earns/educated higher than you?Men say,one shouldn't have ego in a relationship,so how do you classify that when inferiority complex swells you from within?Learn to digest the fact,women are far more independent now(isn't that a plus?do you want someone who clings to you on petty things?) but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy your company.We just don't want to burden you and on the same note,we are not your scapegoats/maids at home.We're not weaker sex as labelled by many.But how many of you out there will accept this fact?How many of you will treat their women(wife) as their bestest friend?How many of you will respect their ambitions in life?Any guys out there willing to go the extra mile?

As I mentioned above,women are not against marriage but a woman's feelings are very fragile.Once the trust or her heart has been broken,I'd doubt it if she'd go for another experience of the same kind when she has already have what she needs...beautiful family,assets,wonderful carrier..why spend time with someone who's not even worth a penny?

Later if you bump into an old spinster/non-married woman,quit foul-mouthing,you'll never know what might have cost her to become one.

Everyone falls in love.Yes,everyone..I will strongly disagree if any of you say "No,I've never did and will never".Everyone falls in love at a certain age of their lives.It's either you admit the truth or hide it under your sleeves but remember "never regret for anything that had made you smile before" .

0140

Staying ALIVE.

-true enough-:)
9th September'11 @ 0121

Now I'm convinced that being an insomniac has its own advantages;found another 'food for life' article which states;

HOW TO STAY YOUNG?

1.Throw out nonessential numbers.This include age,weight and height.Let the doctors worry about them.That is why you pay them(haha).

2.Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning.Learn more about the computers,crafts,gardening,whatever.Never let the brain idle.

4.Enjoy the simple things.

5.Laugh often,long and loud.Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6.The tears happen.Endure,grieve and move on.The only person who is with us our entire life,is ourselves.Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7.Surround yourself with what you love,whether it's family,pets,keepsakes,music,plants,hobbies,whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8.Cherish your health :If it is good,preserve it.If it is unstable,improve it.If it is beyond what you can improve,get help.

9.Don't take guilt trips.Take a trip to the mall,even to the next country;to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them,at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.

=)

0131

L.I.F.E-let it flow easily:)

"...and it's never too late:)"
7th September'11 @ 1159

I came across this good piece of inspiring thought on life whilst browsing through my FB page lifelessly!It certainly worth a read and thinking and you'll know it's all about you and your VERY OWN LIFE in the end,that matters afterall.:)

"THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE,AND DO IT OFTEN.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING,CHANGE IT.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR JOB,QUIT.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME,STOP WATCHING TV.
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE,STOP;
THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU START DOING THINGS YOU LOVE.
STOP OVER ANALYZING,LIFE IS SIMPLE.
ALL EMOTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL.
WHEN YOU EAT,APPRECIATE EVERY LAST BITE.
OPEN YOUR MIND,ARMS,AND HEART TO NEW THINGS AND PEOPLE,
WE ARE UNITED IN OUR DIFFERENCES.
ASK THE NEXT PERSON YOU SEE WHAT THEIR PASSION IS,
AND SHARE YOUR INSPIRING DREAM WITH THEM.
TRAVEL OFTEN.
GETTING LOST WILL HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF.
SOME OPPORTUNITES ONLY COME ONCE,SEIZE THEM.
LIFE IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MEET,
AND THE THINGS YOU CREATE WITH THEM
SO GO OUT AND START CREATING.
LIFE IS SHORT.
LIVE YOUR DREAM AND SHARE YOUR PASSION".

Besides that lengthy one,this has always been my favourite when i'm thrown at the crossroads "to do or not to do?"-
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain.

If there's something holding you concrete tight from doing what you like,don't think twice,just BREAK the concrete and live your life!Dont' allow yourself to turn back later on with regret and say "what if i had done it?/I should have done that..."

1232.

Prema.

"I promise you,from the bottom of my heart,I will love you till death do us apart..."-lyrics from The Backstreet Boys.

24th August'11 @ 0220

Prema in telugu means love.5 letters in Telugu and 4 letters in English.I'm not the right person to write on this subjective feeling.Did you know?Being a good listener somehow always in return,is expected to give your opinion,even when you try to 'run away' from 'few sensitive topics'.

So here it goes,I have the slightest idea on how many will nod in agreement with me but this captivating word is causing unlimited miseries/joy/pleasure and yes,you may add other describable words/feelings if you wish.

It's not an old news,but few times I was asked "how do you know if it's a true love?"..darn! I was so tempted to answer "dude,you got no better questions to ask during meeting ups?",instead I replied, "when it happens to you,then you'll know".Answered nonchalantly,you think?.And you will secretly hope that no further questions will be shot at you but before you could realise,there comes "but when and how la..." from the mouth of your bestie.Now you have no choice,when the request is stronger than before.See this is what i said,being a good listener and observer aren't enough (at times!).

My very personal opinion on love-it is a subjective feeling,better to say it's a good blend of all the feelings in the whole world-happiness,sadness,ecstasy,dreamy feeling(e.g flying so up in the sky),turning into a Jr.Shakespeare,feeling 'lighter' regardless of day/night,racing heartbeats or sometimes you could have the sensation of skipped heartbeats..okay enough with that,others might have different symptoms when you fell into one.Yet,not all can be considered as true love and one cannot ascertain it will last forever.

In this new age,is there still true love?Don't mistaken me,I'm not against love.I am still adamant on "love is the greatest feeling on the earth".But the existence of true love is questionable in modern society.How things could be so different during our grandparents days?Their family institution was far more stronger than how it is now in young generations'.As we become more educated,nonetheless,we become more ignorant and less thankful of each other.Everybody wants to win but nobody wants to listen,now that's something to be rectified.

It's not wise enough to ask a teenager/youngsters on 'what is love?'.If you're seeking for the most humble,innocent and honest answer--ask kids and the senior citizens who still walk hand in hand.Few years back,I came across a special column in thestar written on love-the entry was entitled S.H.M.I.L.Y which stands for 'see how much i love you'.The story was about how this couples will leave the S.H.M.I.L.Y abbreviation in written form on a piece of paper,on the grains,in their closet only being discovered later by the other half.On the other hand ,a kid at his/her tender age replied "love is when mum cooks dad's most favourite dish" or "love is when dad brings mum roses in the evenings and hugs her from behind"..now isn't that a sweet reply?Kids practice what they see,just like "you reap what you sew".

Love can come in many forms,it's you who have full control over it.They say 'appreciate that someone when he/she is still there" because it's pointless to cry over a spilled milk.So why wait for tomorrow to say 'I am sorry'' or "thank you" when you still have today???Saying 'sorry' doesn't degrade yourself,but it shows how much you love and care for the person by setting aside your ego merely because you still want them in your life.Mostly,people are blinded from the very start that they don't see all the simple things that are needed to a put a smile on each other's face.

To tell the truth,I look with much admiration at the grandpas and grandmothers while on my outings.Usually I will steal quick glances at them (until I've been caught by them) before I give them a smile and guess what?Grandpas and grandmas will flash back their toothless smiles at me:) I love that sight,don't ask me why but they are the icon for "it's not how much love you have in the beginning,but it's how much love you built towards the end".

So,the next time you need advice on true love, kindly refer to senior citizens and you'll be awed at their successful secret recipe of long standing marriage and love.Perhaps,true love is still out there because of them:)

0355

is there SOMETHING still left?

we're Malaysians and let us be proud to be one.
19th August'11 @ 0107

Malaysia has lost its identity which it once had.I miss my Malaysia.I miss dearly the Malaysia that I once grew up,the Malaysia which once had been the role model for other nations for Its best exemplary in housing multi-racial citizens.It was once,I highly doubt it if it is still.

The Malaysia that I'm seeing now is a total 'new' Malaysia.I believe I was not away for too long,was I?it was only for 6 years and the new look of Malaysia is very much saddening,especially when a foreigner(s) write(s) about this land of ours with much disappointment.It's even heartbreaking when you see the many entries on the staronline page :"why I want to emigrate from Malaysia?".The emigrate word always out wins the immigrate word and makes us think "has Malaysia become worse over the years?".Where's our manners and ethics as Malaysians?Where is our ever ready smiley face in greeting politely a tourist(s) /in aiding a lost visitor(s)?Where is our "please have my seat,grandma/grandpa/pregnant lady/special child" on public transports?Where is our slowing down the car's speed while nearing the pedestrian walk?Where is our giving way to an elderly who's trying with much difficulties to cross a road?Where? where and where?Have all these inherited values in us vanished into the thin air with modernisation?Does it hurt to practice more humanly and with love and care?

I grew up in a multi-racial neighbourhood.Though we're not like the neighbours of the rural areas,never once we have forgotten the surrounding neighbours whom we considered as our nearest relatives.I went to national schools ever since my childhood days.I never once thought of or even cared to ask my parents "why did you enrol me in Sekolah Kebangsaan?"but now personally I know,many parents are opting for International Schools for their betterment of the children's education.I don't blame their decision when there are many setbacks in our national schools in present.For God's sake,students education/studies are not something to be toyed around,it's either you stick to Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Inggeris,stop contemplating on it,will you?This issue has been going on for years and there's still no final decision about it.When will this end?When I was in school ( I'm proud to call myself a RPSian) even in my previous primary school,the teachers were fair to all of us without labelling us by skin colours(it happens now in schools),the marking system was fair,teachers had the time to explain to us and guide us throughout our school years without lacking in their responsibilities.They don't wash off their hands by saying "I know you're going for tuitions" or giving extra tuitions after schooling hours to gain extra wages.Few of us never even went for tuition classes during our early years.Teachers are more dedicated and qualified during the past years but now???I spent most of my time with classmates who are mostly malays,chinese and only maximum of 4 indians in my class.We were a happy family.I'm not ashamed to say " we used to sing..I love you,you love me,we're one big happy family" yes it is from the tv show "barney and friends".Not a morning goes by without us greeting each other once we entered the classroom.We enjoyed each others company very much,lived as a family over the years,together I mean as we advanced each year.That's why I still miss my schooling life which holds the most unforgetful memories given by my fellow classmates.The people that i encounter in present are very much the opposite.I don't judge a person by first meet but I can say again,it has come down to you're indian,and I'm not,now.I feel alienated in my own country,I will tell you why.I don't care if you call me a bragger but I can proudly say,in my school,we have no separate clubs for extra curricular activities such as :Indian Society/Chinese Society or Persatuan Agama Islam.We mingle around with everyone.These are the small things in segregation(practiced by many schools) which has already given a biggest impact on us.I don't know how many students do this but when I was in school,my fellow indian friends(my close friends and seniors) and I did not speak in our mother tongue while conversing.Despite the fact that I was a prefect,i was encouraged by my parents to speak more in english and malay in school and I can assure and as were told by many,I don't have the Indian accent while conversing in Malay.At times,people could mistaken me as a Malay girl while on the phone.The many best friends that I have and still in touch with comprise Malays,Chinese and Indians and even till now,I can hang out with them and still longing for outings with them.

I'm blessed to have such sweet and wonderful memories of school where racial discrimination wasn't present,at least not in the environment that I grew up.Perhaps it was there in 90's and before the millennium,but as a student,we were only exposed to 'good' news on tv and during the those days,Internet accessibility was considered still 'scarce' and it was monitored under the vigilant eyes of parents.I don't remember surfing for extra source of news on Malaysia beside 'the always right and no flaw' news on the television.Under the reign of my most favourite politician,without any doubt,Malaysia has emerged as the best developing nation around the world and double standard among the races were not prominent,unlike right now.I have always been an avid reader and I do keep myself updated about Malaysia even when I was abroad but came to a point I just lost interest on the daily melodramas of Malaysian news on racism,crime rates at stake,the conflict over power...and it's sickening to read all these when they don't bring any betterment for the people.

You declare 1Malaysia.Everywhere I turn...there's definitely something about 1Malaysia.What do you understand by that declaration?There will be no 1Malaysia ever if in government offices when a government worker answers you half-heartedly,with a very bitter face and to very much dismay portraying the real racist attitude by saying " saya sudah asingkan India untuk memudahkan kerja" when you were looking for your already filled up form for interview.Does that make sense to you?It would have been more logical to think if only she had done her part by separating male and female applicants' forms.You might think I am being rude but I found my form and I walked off without even thanking her.Sorry,I have no respect for her.I have never encountered this type of situation and when it happened it actually jolted me back to reality and I know I'd be seeing this more.

Despite all these,I still love my Malaysia.This is my country.I have been to other countries but the thought of emigrating has never occurred to me,because I know this is where I belong.For me,Malaysia is still the best country besides all the chaos and instability that's been going on. We carry it's name as "I am a MALAYSIAN" wherever we go.I just want back my previous harmonious Malaysia and that's my only wish for the coming 54th Hari Merdeka.We're one and I still prefer to call myself as a Malaysian First rather than I am an Indian.There will be no changes in this statement.

0250

As It Is.

4th August'11@0232

It's kind of too late if i still tell myself-I'm having jet lag,nevertheless I'm still awake.Been surfing the net and here I am,doing one of my favourites-blogging.

Life as a 'jobless' girl seems to be taking its toll on me.Maybe because I'm too used to being occupied that now I find myself being too free.Not very much of a tv/movie person."mom,do you want me to do anything for you?" answer ;"it's okay,I will do it"..duh!Not the type of a person who loves to lepak.I can say,this life is damn relaxing but at the same time it feels 'empty'.*Don't whim,you'll be missing this free period once induction is over!*

On the other hand,Finally today I got hold of The Bhagavad Gita As It Is (The Song of God) after reading 'The Reservoir of Pleasure" --who else could it refer to?It has to be Lord Krsna,always and eternally:).The Bhagavad Gita has always been my most favourite book(though I considered it as the most sacred Veda of the devotees).I hope it's not too late for me to read this thick book(hopefully can finish it before I start working).There are many simplified version/books on The Mahabharata and The Bhagavad Gita but it wont hurt to read the actual verses(700) in sanskrit as it is delivered by The Lord himself on the battlefield.Even before I turn the pages of the holy book, a very clear and inspirational message from The Bhagavad Gita is
"Whatever that had happened,happened for good.Whatever that's happening is happening for good and whatever that will happen also will happen for good only".

A very delightful note on the back of the hardcover of the book,written by the great Mahatma Gandhi sounds " When doubts haunt me,when disappoinments stare me in the face,and I see not one ray of hope on the horizon,I turn to Bhagavad Gita and find a verse to comfort me;and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming sorrow.Those who meditate on the Gita will derive fresh joy and new meanings from it every day." Hence begins my self-realisation process too,just a beginner but I have started!:)

Besides engaging myself with The Bhagavad Gita,I'm going to hit gym tomorrow,visited the gym and all of sudden I miss the better equipped gym in Nizhny Novgorod.I can't sit at home 24/7!

Okay,good night for now~

0313

bored to death

12th july'11@1416 final exams had passed with good remarks from the doctors.graduation was over with extreme and mixed emotions in me.tour to the venice of europe:st.petersburg with mum and dad done and now im back in my 410,repacked my books and notes in boxes for cargo,luggages are all set to fly back,hopefully there wont be any changes.will be receiving my translated degree tomorrow before the final procedure in malaysian embassy in moscow.so much of bureocracy to be done and that makes me want to leave this place even faster but still,deep inside me,i know i will be missing my independent and single life more than anything else once im back home especially when im still being treated as their precious little girl.however it maybe,i respect them with all that i have but its my life and the final decision will be mine. I dont admit that im a net addict but why should i again right?but i seriously need the connection to be on regardless im using it or not.im thrown into a massive boredom now-no internet in my room,i miss to the core logging into my msn live messenger and im patheticaly using my mobile and blogging while lying on my bed and listening to drakes and the mowing grass machine outside my 4th floor.another 5 more days and im gonna say good bye to my little room,hostel and russia..5 days now seems like weeks when i cant online:(.a part of me wants to be back in malaysia with new life waiting before my eyes and another part of me rejects it,just a minor fear slipping in,not knowing what awaits upon my return.i have learned a sum and i know i should go easy with life and live as i want in and im going to make the best out of it. Just one word now:BORED. 1445.

7th rotation.Friday Night.A Chat.

20th November'09@2320

"Life should be like a game of cards,

You make a mistake,

Then fold the deck and start over

It should be just like drivin in your car

Get lost and your navigation system

Gets you closer

But there ain't no handbook

You're on your own

Got no instructions

when it comes to love

Cuz once you done something

You can't undone...."

the lyrics which had captured my heart and mind for the past few hours,been replaying "IF I KNEW THEN" by THE BSB...I think I love the new album very much,already fell head over heels with all the songs.Their main genre from pop music has been imporvised now with R&B and a slight tinge of rock,and I think I love it..guess,from my previous favourites,:Straight through my heart,If I knew then,Masquerade,I'm adding This is Us,Undone and actually the rest of the compilations on the new album on my favourite list:)I'll fall in love over and over again with any BSB albums,so this is the typical me..addicted to the hiatus of infinity when it comes to their music and songs;)

My prayers was answered today..and like I had said before,Group 531E is the schematic group ever...we got Professor for epidemiology cycle when previous groups predicted we will be getting a less 'wanted' mentor.But I told them off "Group 531E,you'll never know,we might get the prof!" and it happened.Man,that woman is just so energetic and full of spirit when delievering lectures.With a certain degree of merciness in her,she did let us have break in between,2 times.We started at 9 am till 2pm..lecture,lecture and lecture..,she;s really good.All the facts were like glued in her brain forever and seems like she has no difficulty in coughing them out....wonder how I'll get all the statistical values inside my head.And this weekend,I'll be buried under my epidemio books.How can i not right?When prof said "being an epidemiologist,our main task is to control" which means each day my classes will be started off with giving small tests on us.Epidemio,let's enjoy it under prof's guidance:)

I've been thinking about this for sometime.Why do people love to be loud all the time?Why can;t their damn brain digest the idea that being loud all the time doesn't prove you right..it only irks people more,yeah more and more towards you.There's another flaw in that damn brain that thinks highly of him/herself "I'm the best and ONLY my opinion matters in a crowd!"I;m so disgusted with that...and there;s another variety of human which I had seen,the one who like to boss around but when loneliness creeps in,the person becomes 'I just follow what you say!'. how do you define these kind of creatures?You can;t manipulate me ever,mind you! You;re no different from the ones who irked you even at the sight of looking at them,last time.Hell with it...these kind of living beings shouldn't be entertained - a wiser thought of a 24 years old.

Ragu will be off to Ipoh tomorrow afternoon for a month of break.Finally,he;s on his sem break after his exams.He caught me today and I;ve been chatting with him for the past 1 hour.He and his juicy stories in USM.I'm laughing my head off here...okay bro,I can see the maturity in you.You're more open to me now,well that makes us even more closer now.I'm suprised at myself cos I'm able to open up to you too!I love the new you,the new you who's always there to listen to whatever I have to say*hugs*.You're the best bro in the whole world!I'm sure we have loads to share once I'm back next year for holidays.You'll be fine and do simply awesome in all the things you venture in.Happy holidays to you,enjoy your stay alone at home with mum and dad! I love you,thammudu(younger bro in telugu).*wink*

2340

21 things a GIRL should NEVER apologise.

Thanks shalu for the forward.Nice message to pass around.

1.NEVER APOLOGISE for pursuing what makes you happy.Even if you need to quit your job,transfer schools, or move across country,always do what you really want.

2.NEVER APOLOGISE for using proper english.Keeping it real doesn't mean you have to speak Ebonics.

3.NEVER APOLOGISE for giving your best in a relationship that just didn't work out.

4.NEVER APOLOGISE for crying.Wear waterproof mascara and express yourself.

5.NEVER APOLOGISE for being successful.Only haters want to keep you at their level.

6.NEVER APOLOGISE for 10 pounds you need to lose.People who truly care about you will accept you as you are.

7.NEVER APOLOGISE for wearing a weave or braids.You bought it so it's yours.

8.NEVER APOLOGISE for being frugal.Just because you save your money instead of blowing it on the latest fashion emergency doesn't mean you are cheap.

9.NEVER APOLOGISE for treating yourself for something special.Sometimes you have to show yourself some appreciations.

10.NEVER APOLOGISE for demanding respect.You are to always be treated as a QUEEN.

11.NEVER APOLOGISE for leaving an abusive relationship.Your safety should always be a priority.

12.NEVER APOLOGISE for keeping the ring even if you did not get married..

13.NEVER APOLOGISE for setting high standards in a relationship.You know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your nerves.

14.NEVER APOLOGISE for dating outside your race.Just because you found your Mr.Right across the colour line doesn't mean you don't love your Brothas..

15.NEVER APOLOGISE to your new friends about old friends.There's a reason she's been your girl from day one.

16.NEVER APOLOGISE for ordering dessert or more than one dessert.

17.DON'T APOLOGISE for being a single mom.Babies are a blessing.

18.NEVER APOLOGISE for saying NO.

19.NEVER APOLOGISE for not knowing how to cook.Even if you can't burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out.(Right Girl!)

20.NEVER APOLOGISE for making more money than your man,you work hard and you deserve to get paid.

21.NEVER APOLOGISE for being you!KEEP YOU HEAD UP AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

*ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES YOU AND HE ALWAYS HAS YOUR BACK.*

If Tomorrow Never Comes

*If there's one poem which is still in my mind,it just has to be this piece..the only piece that always has a spot in my heart and mind.The very first time I got it via email in 2002.Thanks xziled_sazin for the forward :)*

If I knew it would be the last time

that I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly,

and pray the Lord your soul to keep.



If I knew it would be the last time

that I'd see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss,

and call you back for just one more.


If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would tape each word and action,

and play them back throughout my days



If I knew it would be the last time,

I would spare an extra minute or two,

To stop and say "I love you,"

instead of assuming you know I do.


So, just in case tomorrow never comes,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you,

and I hope we never will forget.



Tomorrow is not promised

to anyone, young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight.


So, if you're waiting for tomorrow,

why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,

And you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.


So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

That you love them very much,

and you'll always hold them dear.



Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me,"

"thank you" or "it's okay".

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.


-By Norma Marek-

Inspired

5th August'09 @ 1343

Hey bloggie,so it has been 2 days since I blogged!There's nothing 'new or hip' happening here with me.Do I sound sad?..no worries,I'm not except that when there's no interesting and juicy happenings,I have to squeeze my head to post something on blogspot.What's driving me to blog and blog?It's unexplainable..words and I..

Sometimes in life,among the many people you meet,only a very few/the extraordinary ones will inspire you in achieving what you desire.What's so unique about them?Are they just too good for their professions that the ones looking at them will 'gasp/mouth 'wow' '?Perhaps these individuals are just borne to be in that path of life.

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. - Dr. Napoleon Hill

Doctors who are passionate when it comes to dichotomy of health care will INSPIRE you to be just like them.Wards rounds with them indirectly will incorporate their values in you..well it did happen to me this time in Batu Gajah Hospital.Now,I have additional of 3 doctors to look up to and to name them as my role models.Life is all about learning,you can NEVER call an end when it comes to gaining more knowledge.I'm always amazed at the fact how these senior doctors/HODS STILL can remember even the small tiny facts which they had learned 3 decades ago?What's the secret?I've always wanted to unlock their mysterious brain.Curiosity kills the cat.To avert that,I got the answer which is: read,read,read,..always look up and flip the book when you're in doubt!.Cool fact,eh?Such an easy task,isn't it?Now,that's something to be put into practice more often.

Put aside real life doctors,doctors on tv also can ENCOURAGE,mould and shape you to be a better doctor.My very first addiction over the years was/still is ER.Though the serial is no longer being aired,it's undeniable to say ER is still the most anticipated show till now.I was obsessed with Dr.Carter till I'll go 'too cutela..serene,I'm not going to miss that show!!'(do you still remember serene?).Those were the days when I used to 'cuci mata' while watching ER which is incomparable to Gray's which prioritizes more on scandals and personal life.Dr.Bailey,Dr.Yeng and Dr.Burke caught my attention,yeah the ones who are more like REAL LIFE DOCTORS than the rest of the team.House,MD..what can i say?It actually can take over ER fans to its side.Love it when Hugh Laurie as the most sarcastic,the genius yet arrogant doctor who uses the stick on the wrong side to aid his limping leg.A 'tv doctor' with his own mind,in short,who doesn't give a damn about what others think of him!

All in all,attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference.

And as for a doctor,what does it take to be THE GREATEST AND THE MOST OUTSTANDING PHYSICIANS IN REAL LIFE???

answer: ONLY THROUGH EXPERIENCES. true?..

1420

1st August'09

2nd August'09@0030

This is my 2nd entry today(if I consider today is still saturday!) after the previous one at 4pm saturday wasn't saved and couldn't be published.I wanted to make an entry because 1st august is not remembered by many unlike 14th february.

1st August-- HAPPY FRIENDSHIP'S DAY to everyone.Thanks buddies for making me complete.:)

" A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."- Arabian Proverb

Yesterday morning right after consuming a piece of curry puff,I went to claim my new passport.I was supposed to meet up with vick at 10am but ended up meeting my buddy at 11am.Thanks for the patience.I accompanied vicks to do shopping.This buddy of mine will start working next monday before she continues with her masters by the end of the year.So the second up coming miss masters is on her way right after miss lavania.2 out of 6 (the usual number) met up today.I joined vicks for breakfast after getting myself a milo ice.

I agreed on with mum dad saying that I don't look like I'm 24.Okay,so what with that?I'm not tall,small sized with high metabolism.So,just like any other days,people would've thought 2 teenage girls spending time/loitering around! Now,it's a pretty funny scene right?Maybe next time I should just paste a sign on my blouse/t-shirt stating "hey..I'm 23+++,don't dare to disturb me!"

Vicks and I were chit-chatting when we noticed a group of girls and guys.They look barely 18 years old,maybe younger than that.They didn't escape from our sight because these group of Indian girls chose to sit opposite us at the food court.We cared less about them but their eyes didn't leave us.As for me,I noticed their appearances suited well with what's being portrayed in movies nowadays.I'm not condemning my own race,I'm certainly not proud of that.But,their attitude,appearances,their mentality,emotional states don't go parallel with their age.Boys with their notorious behavior(pardon me for saying that word).Notorious in context of 'mengusik' girls who are passing by(telling from my experience).These kinds of lackadaisical/inappropriate attitudes are the ones which will lead to social problems.

Vicks and I exchanged smiles.After a few seconds of pause,spontaneously,Vicks said "I was still holding my mum's hands when I was their age"..*because we are pretty sure the girls are about 15 or 16 years old*..and I added " My first outing with you guys was for 'manmadhan' right after STPM examination!"..Kids nowadays,they are just growing up too fast,yes TOO FAST...it's like they are spinning and chasing after the time.You know how it feels when a 10 year old speaks as if she/he knows everything in the world?Each year when I come back home,I see my cousins become more of an 'adult'.I still cannot digest the fact that a sister of mine is actually 16 years old this year when I still remember talking to her about her primary school days!

Vicks and I agreed on saying "1985 babies,we are the best!"..I'm proud of who I am because I know grow up WITH TIME.There's no lagging behind or being too fast,ahead of time like kids nowadays.

I know everything seems to be moving very fast.The words 'advance/fast and furious' best explain about how things are now.

I certainly have no regrets for:

1.I've never been clubbing.

2.I've never went dating with a guy.

3.I've never skipped classes to loiter in the malls.

4.I've never behaved immorally.

5.I've never misued the freedom that has been given to me.

Other people might say that I 'wasted' my teenage days but heck,this is how I was brought up with values instilled in me.

Teenagers nowadays probably have different opinions,what's life without enjoyment?And I'll say "dear future teenagers,enjoy every moment of your life with a poised personality">

I'm happy with who I am.

0111

Karma

30th July'09 @ 1833

Another death had occurred yesterday.Not in the hospital but in a community.Mum was very eager to know who was it,especially after mum learned that the late lower six boy was a telugu.His motorbike was ran over by a lorry driver.Mum and I passed by the demised house but mum couldn't figure out who was it.To my surprise,shalu knows the late boy's family.What a pity right?My deepest condolences to them.Gone all the high hopes,dreams of both parents on a 18 years old.:(

This year,I heard more news on death.What's more disheartening is,the deaths were not because of senile age but due to brutally assaulted and murdered.I attended a funeral(after 8 years) last sunday in Bercham.The late left behind his wife,2 daughters aged: 13 and 7 years,his parents and 3 siblings.We're related,used to stay in the same neighbourhood in teluk intan.I know about the late brother but I have a very vague memories of him.Once,he came with his family to my house for a visit.I'm not sure whether the news came in the papers because he was an employee in the JPJ,a prominent person indeed.Earlier,the news we got was,he was involved in an accident but upon our arrival to his house,we heard a very shocking story.I couldn't even look at his mother,as she was weeping and sobbing non-stop in between her most touching phrases 'he won't be calling me mother anymore,son,they're taking you away,call me once again 'mother' .'They say mother's love can be seen and felt unlike fathers,they keep all their love inside.Their only sign of love towards their offsprings are by being strict.On that day,I saw his father crying like a little boy,mourning away saying "i will never get a son like him,what a waste...".The siblings were reminiscing their memories of their late brother and tears were rolling down their cheeks.It's very touching and unforgettable death that i had ever attended.The late's wife was fully dressed in her saree,with flowers on her hair and all the time she was just leaning against,looking at the demise in his coffin.She was very weak towards the end of the day,even collapsed due to exhaustion and over night cryings.The elder daughter was stronger.Her friends came over,consoled her and I heard her saying "I cried so much yesterday that I couldn't even cry anymore".The little one was aware of her father's death and was in a very silent mode.My elder brothers who were supposed to be attending a temple festival in teluk intan,ended up in hospital to pay their last respect to their childhood friend.

Crime rates are at stake and very alarming in Malaysia now.The best example was last sunday's incident.It's so not a humane act by treating and murdering someone in that manner.The news we got was one of his clients called him for meet up in a coffee shop on friday in the late evening.The late went to meet.And after 2 hours,he was found naked on the road.On examination,his skull was cracked(suspected after being hit by a hammer) and there were few strokes of 'rotan' beatings on his back.Who has the right to take away someone's life in that way?No one...what did he do to deserve this kind of death?I cannot imagine how his family was 'stabbed alive' upon seeing his condition after the post-mortem.It's killing everyone insid just to think 'the animals' responsible for his death are still at large.The motive behind his murder is unknown but suspected to be intentional murder since the late has always been a strict and honest JPJ employee.

Though I have a slightest memory of the late,mum told me on our way back from the funeral that,the late often enquire mum 'how's nita doing and has she already finished her course,sister?'.My eyes were brimmed with tears upon seeing the most saddest moments at the funeral.I'm glad i paid my last respect to him by attending his funeral.

Anna(brother),may you rest in peace.May God pardons all your unfavourable acts.Be a guardian angel to your parents,wife,siblings and kids.Guide them in their lives and be always with them.

Why good people are snatched away from their families very fast?Is it because God loves them more than the ones living on the Earth?One can never reason out why..now this is what you call God's play or better still,KARMA plays it's role here.

You will always live in our memories,R.I.P.

1924

Version On Life's Lessons(I)

Frequently,forwarded messages and emails do bring back some sense into life and make our brains' eons to think.The below messages which I came across few weeks ago is definitely worth a read.

"Understand yourself before you undersatnd about others

The essence of life reflects on how you think and contemplate on the consequences..."

LIFE'S LSESSONS

written by Regina Brett,90 years old of Ohio.

"to celebrate growing older,I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most requested column I've ever written.My odometer rolled over to 90 in august,so here is the column once more":

1.Life isn't fair but it's still good.

2.When in doubt,just take the next small step.

3.Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4.Your job won't take care of you when you're sick.Your parents and friends will.Stay in touch.

5.Pay off your credit cards every month.

6.You don't have to win every argument.Agree to disagree.

7.Cry with someone.It's more healing than crying alone.

8.It's OK to get angry with God.He can take it.

9.Save for retirement starting from your first paycheck.

10.When it comes to chocolate,resistance is futile.

11.Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12.It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13.Don't compare your life with others.You have no idea what's their journey is all about.

14.If a relationship has to be in secret,then you shouldn't be in it.

15.Everything can change in the blink of an eye.But,don't worry,God never blinks.

16.Take a deep breath.It calms the mind.

17.Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.

18.Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.It's never too late to have a happy childhood.But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20.When it comes to going after what you love in life,don't take no for an answer.

21.Burn the candles,use the nice sheets,wear the fancy lingerie.Don't save it for a special occasion.Today is special.

22.Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23.Be eccentric now.Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24.The most important sex organ is the brain.

25.No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26.Frame every so-called disasters with these words" in five years,will this matter?"

27.Always choose life.

28.What other people think of you is none of your business.

29.Time heals almost everything.Give time time.

30.However good or bad a situation is,it will change.

31.Don't take yourself seriously.No one else does.

32.Believe in miracles.

33.God loves you because of who God is,not because of anything you did or didn't do.

34.Forgive everyone everything.

35.Don't audut life.Show up and make the most of it now.

36.Growing old beats the alternative-dying young.

37.Your children get only one childhood.

38.All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39.Get outside everyday.Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40.Envy is a waste of time.You already have all you need.

41.The best is yet to come.

42.No matter how you feel,get up,dress up and show up.

43.Yield.

44.If we all throw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

45.Life isn't tied with a bow,but it's still a gift.

*I was speaking to myself when i was retyping these lessons*