FINAL YEAR!!!!!:)

*a life time dream...*

21st August'10@1353

The jolly and excited mood is fading off day by day as the days are coming closer for me to board the plane next sunday at 2am.Summer holidays of 2010 is coming to an end.Though part of me wants to stay longer here in my home,I'm actually excited to embark into my final year and come back to Malaysia with a scroll after 10 months.Still...who'd resist holidays,am I right?

I came back with loads of plan(kind of organised) to be done over the holidays but darn!!!I was at my worst by being an incredible procrastinator...well,maybe I shouldn';t exaggerate too much but nita,you didn't go according to your plan and you gotta admit that!First of all,i didn't expect this year there'd be too many family reunions where I had to travel practically every weekend.I didn't expect I will be having one day road trip to KL/teluk intan.Trip to teluk intan,I don't mind..anytime!but to go to other places,I'd rather stay in my comfort zone--my home and in my room.

I wasn't really bored staying without ragu at home.Dad and mum have been a great companion.I enjoyed it very much though we only spent time at home,before going to bed(this is one thing i will miss very much,long chats and disturbings before sleeping) and dining at restaurants.No family outings since ragu is all the way in USM prior to his 3rd year new sem.Snippets among the days been outings with my besties and all in all,holidays were fun--a quiet and been a decision making period.What's with all this new things right?But,I got into dad and mum's mind and I know what they want.So,let everything happen as it have been planned instead of if it's mean to be,it will certainly happen once for real.

Final year and let's make it a memorable one.All the best to me.

*whatever that's on it's way to me,you're welcome and will be part of my life cycle.Whatever that might be.*

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over the years...

-I must grasp more-

1520 @ 31st July'10

Screw me for posting an entry almost a month ago and finally after a request from shalu,I decided to make an entry today.A month has gone and another month is on its way..august!!!Not looking forward,wasn't expecting time to pass by me fast,but on another thought,this time,it will be my last and final 'go-back' to my 2nd home: Russian Fed for my final year of my 6 years of medical studies.Happy,extremely happy but I know for definite that I will be missing Nizhny,memories of being abroad +medical studies+new friends+ETC+euro tours are the very few things which I will be missing much.I've had a fair share in all these.

Another phase of life is waiting for me eagerly.A Doctor's life.I know it won't be any easier.I used to mourn during high school days,"damn,I'm stressed..."...during form 6 :"man,how am I going to get through these subjects?It's way stressful than form 5"...But now in Medic line,I realised the true meaning of "STRESS".That's when I came to my self-realisation" "should have studied more harder,yes harder and harder..." and now the dissatisfaction still lingers in my mind whenever it gets a chance to invade me..medic studies,no joke -i always have these 'threatening voices' in my mind saying -you gotta do well,you will be dealing with lifes----what could be more frightening than this right?The mass evolution of medicine nearly every day proves the fact that a physician has something new to learn every day.Being a Junior Doctor,I won't claim myself as the superior one.Still,I would admit humbly:I still have a long way to go.6 years of studies which will be coming to an end next year in June,is just the beginning.The real drama of my life will enfold soon...

JUly'11,I know I will be busy preparing all the necessities to start my new life.I know I will be waiting more anxiously to receive my posting letter from MMA,I know I will be packing to move out (if I ever get posted to elsewhere besides in ipoh),I know I will be spending most of my life in hospitals,I know I will be having a very little time for my family and friends,I know I wont be able to just drive and meet up with my buddies at a mall after a ring(like now!)...a busy bee's life(perhaps 100 fold than that is peeping at me)..I chose this,yes I know but now for sure I can tell that---for the past 22 years of my life;books have played the major role and life has become more serious,I wish it's less serious and less demanding(slight regret is there,to be honest ).

Medical studies and memories cannot be separated.Memories can keep us alive though at times it can be pretty ugly.What all of us need is a memorable one.So the best is,keep the beautiful ones which gave you the happiest moment in life and throw the rest away.Things and people will change,hence don't compromise--you got ur life to live on,let the other person to mend and change their life for better.Nature of forgiving shouldn't be taken for granted...stand firm with ur decisions,don't hold any grudges on others(even on ur enemies),focus in what u have to do and be who you are,but when you have to EXPLODE,please don't bottle up ur anger.Let it go.

I'm not a philosopher wanna-be,just an ordinary girl..I'm not superior/great but I will always remain as me for years to come.I don't throw people out of my life but expect the unexpected when you mistreat me.:)

Well,I'm very much looking forward for tomorrow for an outing with aud,sathia,vicks..5 days at home with the idiot box playing and airing some crappy movies,is just too much to bear with..can't wait to see the rest tomorrow..gonna have a long day outing and surely will be missing those absentees;shalu,sree,subha,anne....okay,signing off for now.

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from my comfy room...

*in vicks myvi on 3rd July'10*

*1st incomplete reunion on 27th June'10*

9th July'10

It's going to be 2 weeks since my return for summer break.No practicals for 2 months like any other years..so I was/am lazing at home.With my bestest girlfriend at home now 24/7,I'm being fed with the most tempting home made foods in order to make me gain weight...I'm enjoying myself being pampered that way and what could be most relaxing than just resting my head on daddy's chest before I say 'good nite,daddy,ma'.

Outings were good with my buddies.Had abundant fun and catching up with each other.This year's reunion will be so incomplete for the very first time as the actual date has not been set.I know subha,vicks and anne are waiting anxiously for 17th July for us to gather for lisa's wedding.

Lisa,a school mate of mine--->same age as me,sent her wedding and reception invitations message via fb.Yeah,me too pretty much looking forward for 17th but only one thing is holding me back and the reason---all of us gotta be in sarees...ermm,now how am I going to last in saree for hours?I had good experience 3 years ago for Sis Padma's wedding but now being 24+++,I think it is appropiate to clad saree to attend functions especially when you are 'complelled' by your besties!!..Shalu and lava will be coming down for the wedding and to my dismay,that probably will be my first and last chance of meeting up with them.

Week days: my time is all occupied with dad mum and ragu and weekends(past 2 weeks),I was out with my buddies and spent jolly good time and definitely more food and reunions(family and friends) to be enjoyed and treasured:))))

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At the Extreme Hiatus...

*do we look professional enough?*-days of ophthalmology rotation (photo by-sarah repin,thank you:) )

25th May'10@0300

This blog post of mine might be the first and the last for the month of May.I need plenty of extra hours each day(my ever humble request),when it will be granted?I know I'm back in here after an interval of 1 month..neither I am left without anything to be blogged nor losing the passion for words,but the most explainable reason is-I'm at the RUSH HOUR of the year.The time has come,with just 2 weeks away before exams of the 10th semester to commence.With not any lighter or lightest subjects,I've been balancing these two papers.Least had I expected that Infectious Diseases exam will wall just a week apart from the massive paper of the semester-Internal Medicine.

Ophthalmology rotation officially ended a week ago when I completed the exam last monday.I enjoyed learning about the eye under the associate professor.The days of ophthalmology were fun when I finally got my hands on the slit lamp,ophthalmoscope, learned how to measure the visual acuity,visual field.Yet,any invasive procedures(ophthalmic surgeries),parabulbar and subconjunctival injections will surely to send chills down my spine.They never turn me off but just the thought of 'how could these delicate organs stand such traumatic(?) procedures?' Dear Heart,I still root for you no matter what!!!:)Nevertheless,for the purpose of learning,I'm in for ANYTHING.

Madam Dugina's sacred line " Discipline is the mother of success".Guess mine has doubled or increased more once the month of May begun.Others can wait but I'm not denying, I'm missing something and I know what it is:).

You got to excuse me now,I will be having only 2 hours of sleep today before I get ready for my 1st day of Gynaecology rotation.It's going to be a long day with Internal lecture till 4.30pm.And I'm still awake?--gonna hit my bed now.At times even I myself,very much amazed at the amount of energy I have in me!!!

Good night(good morning).

*I'm thirsty for knowledge and I want to learn more*

0330

My agony over the weekend:(

*daddy and his little girl and mum's girl too;)*

6th April'10@2105

the actual date to post this entry:4th April @0105

What Am I doing at these wee hours?..What can you do when you feel dehydrated,annoyed by cramping pain of your stomach,feeling bloated,tenderness on abdominal self-palpation but with tympanic sound on percussion???What did I eat?Damn,one thing for sure a birthday lunch for sarah yesterday definitely exerted the effect on my ever sensitive GIT.Even a petite consumer like me could be mercilessly affected!!! Maybe I need a hot bottle on my abdomen to minimise the dull ache to give a synergistic effect on already consumed a cup of green tea..sigh!!!My lecture is half way complete...arrgghh,this stomach upset is not something what I wanted right now!!!

Current;y I'm sort of on 'cycle break' since there;s another 2 more days left for my polyclinic rotation.Been doing what I'm supposed to be doing,glad for that but plan sort of deviated from it's planner on last Friday(after 1.30am M'sia time) and NOW!!!...ermm,I've no mood to continue this blog now...(delete or not to delete?????save to draft!)..

*continuation*

6th April'10

Junior Doctor managed to get back to herself...she is all fine..yeay!! Talk about having lil bit of self treatment,no pharmacologic treatment-no analgesics,no aspirin,no antidiarreal medications taken!!!Just gulped down loads and loads of luke warm water,only 2 slices of white bread with coffee on sunday morning and obviously with the many visits to the toilet.I was sooooooo dehydarated and hypovolumic!!!:(((

Dad and mum sensed something was amiss by just looking at my face via the webcam.Though I didn't want to make them worry about me,mum having this extra 6th sense especially when it comes to me,managed to strike the trigger and both of them became alarmed,and infact 'scolded' ,asking me 'why did you eat in the very first place?'...ermm,If only I knew I wouldn't have right?Blame it on my GIT.So,Mum prescribed her special treatment whilst on the phone after the webcam connection wasn't smooth.After 10 hours,I finally had my dinner-mum's special herb soup+ egg omelette+ fried ikan bilis---->that was the best and most luxurious dinner that I've ever tasted!!! Loved it and the herb soup turned out to be "thumbs up*

Morning,before I could wake up,dad sms-ed asking how am I?I replied back saying I was all fine and seriously,I felt whole loads better.After infectious lecture,came back had a cup of yogurt and had my nap of 1 and 1/2 hours before Dad rang up to check on me.Talked to dad and mum,reassured them few times "Yeah,very sure I'm fine now and all better daddy,ma".

I love you both very much,and sorry for making you two get worried unnecessarily.Your little girl can take care of herself,it's a promise:)

My saturday and sunday were gone after the food aftermath..duh..you know what?Now,I doubt other people's cookings!!!sorry...

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I,The Sombong Girl(apparently).

" being the most sombong girl?-anyways,it's fun"-Navanita :)

26th March'10 @ 1400

It's been real a tiring week,even when I had only 4 days of classes since Monday was an off day due to cycle break(an off day before I started with my Internal Medicine subject!)Perhaps it wouldn't have been this exhausting if it wasn't for our super strict and hidden sarcasm doctor.She definitely has something against me.Not a day goes by without her picking on me for even a slightest reason..sigh...2 more weeks with her,gotta get through it.Nevertheless,having her as our practical classes' mentor is one thing my group has been looking forward.Well can;t blame her for acting that way when her previous mentor was the most digeruni Dr. in NNSMA!

Emergency cycle with anaesthesiologist,Dr.Pitchugin in the evenings.How does it feel like having to squeeze your brain/on the go around the clock from 9am till 4pm without lunch to feed your cells?That's what exactly happened yesterday..by the time I got back home,I was too drained out.I know I had to eat for I have been 'fasting' since morning but the feeling of hunger was supressed further.Had a bun,checked my mail and there I went,under the blanket till 8.30pm.After refreshing,a moment in fb with replying msg,keeping myself updated with the latest on TheStarOnline,at 11.30pm,I faced my books..topic for today:Differential diagnosis on abdominal pain,prescription list for my patient of the day and doses on hypertensive crisis drugs,I had to call the day off at 3.30am as my eyes were refusing to stay awake though I wanted to stay vigile till the morning.

For 2 days in a row,I had been getting up unconciously,turning off my alarm and dozed off.Luckily,I still got up at my usual 5.30am and hit the shower.The accumulated tiredness is taking a great toll on me.No,I'm not grumpy but out of I feel everything has been hitting back at me directly right on my face!!!Never ending thick books to flip through...hang on,Nita!!!

Besides all that the week has been good.Had a good chat with Ragu on sunday till 4am Malysian time,received 2 good messages via fb.One of it I have to mention it here,..Prakash messaged and informed me that his engagement will be in July once I'm back.His pre-engagement day will be officiated with family reunion and bbq which will be held in Teluk Intan*loving it!*..I don't think any other place will be ideal for him to intro his would be to The Family.I'm happy for you,cousin bro!!!

We will rock it this july!

I'm not a girl who wears a smile all the time.Though my threshold of turning into a red chilli face has increased(miraculously!),yet the onset is still considered very much alarming.I have no autonomic power on my emotions,so just bear with me,with an addition of a new title: the sombong girl.Thank you.

Okay,gotta leave to hospital in 30 minutes time and T.G.I.F (Thank God It's Friday!)

1430

~I Knew I Loved You before I Met You~

*sending my angel to look after you*

19th March'10 @ 2240

I KNEW I LOVED YOU BEFORE I MET YOU by Savage Garden

Hmm ohh,I will come

Maybe it's intuition

Somethings you just don't question

Like in your eyes,I see my future in an instant

And there it goes,I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound crazy

More than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met You

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason

Only a sense of completion

And in your eyes,I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for,I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound

more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

Ooh hoo ooo,hoo ooo ooo ohh

A thousand angels dance around you

(Ooh hoo,hoo ooo hoo ooo hoo hoo hoo)

I am complete now that I have found you

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

I knew I loved you before I met you,I knew I loved you

(Ooh hoo ooo,hoo hoo ooo)

I knew I loved you before I met you,I knew I loved you

(Ooh hoo ooo,hoo hoo ooo)

I knew I loved you before I met you

(oh oh,ohh ohh,oh oh oh ay ay yea oh)

I knew I loved you before I met you,I knew I loved you

I knew I loved you before I

I'm back to my oldies (correction old is gold) collection.I can never live without music,lovely songs with incomparably beautifully written lyrics.Being a good listener makes a vast difference..only in silence you can actually hear and feel something~

I really miss the 90's hits.Current songs are just beyond my perception of hearing.I don't favour them as much I do my favourites.From the teen girl who had kept herself on par with latest hits,now I'm just lost with the latest music world especially with the many new faces of music makers.Heck,as long as I have my playlists playing my all time and everlasting favourites,I couldn't be bothered with the new tracks.

2300