I came back looking for you after such a long silence,bloggie.Here I am today reminiscing what I had gone through for the past 4 months.Just the thought of is making me all sorrow.Did I change from my usual self?I'm certain that I did not.
Life is not how you see it with your very own two lens.People are not as kind/fair or treat others equally.There will always be people who will try to bring you down.There will always be people who wants to see you end up in misery.There will always be,regardless,people who will show their long serving service as their reason to make you a scapegoat.There will always be people who will be so pre-occupied with themselves that whatever that you do at your best ,will go unnoticed in their eyes.There will be always people who will try to take advantage by the name of being friends and colleague,just because you're way too nice.AND THERE WILL ALWAYS BE PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER APPRECIATE YOUR WORK!!!.
You can do a million good things everyday at work but when you're caught for a single tiny error which could have been solved with a talk,there goes your status as a 'good' even with explanations.Mind you,there will always be someone who is not satisfied with you everyday and will try to dig your previous mistake.
In spite of you trying to uphold Hippocrates priceless oath in treating patients,the journey of a houseman is provoking doubts in myself.Am i going to endure this till next year as a houseman?Only time has the answers for my questions.
With pure and good intentions in mind to practice in addition to sympathy and a kind heart,you will get victimised for trying to help a patient.Apart from that,just when you thought of ignoring the rest and concentrate on your work,here comes a patient with false accusations on you by lodging a complaint to the office which is totally unfair for yourself.Patients are not as patient as they were before.They demand for a private hospital treatment in General Hospital.If you don't attend to their needs,there goes a complaint saying "I'm not satisfied with this doctor's attitude",even when your attitude of speaking to patients are far more better than the specialists.
Too many obstacles to face in getting through this period.At times you just wish to scream for a justice but I'm sure my voice will be drown by their voices of superior.I seriously feel housemen are merely being clerks and being used to cover other peoples mistakes.Who are there to side the housemen when something goes wrong?even the staff nurses have all the support from the sister in charge..and we?just to obey decisions made!
An angry heart or a broken heart will take some time to regain back its strength.Too many times of trying to console my heart for I know what I did was right and I will continue doing what is right as I know my passion and the promise that I had made.Learned about people and their attitudes way too late.I should have known from the start that good people don't stand the chance to stay away from trouble for too long.There will be a time where the trouble will find you till our instinct can't even sense or warn you before hand.
If all these are challenges to teach me about dealing with humans is not how I expected it to be,very well I will accept this and there's no more giving face to anything that could deprive my own stand.
You just wish at times,life is simpler than this.You seriously wish!
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