Karma

30th July'09 @ 1833

Another death had occurred yesterday.Not in the hospital but in a community.Mum was very eager to know who was it,especially after mum learned that the late lower six boy was a telugu.His motorbike was ran over by a lorry driver.Mum and I passed by the demised house but mum couldn't figure out who was it.To my surprise,shalu knows the late boy's family.What a pity right?My deepest condolences to them.Gone all the high hopes,dreams of both parents on a 18 years old.:(

This year,I heard more news on death.What's more disheartening is,the deaths were not because of senile age but due to brutally assaulted and murdered.I attended a funeral(after 8 years) last sunday in Bercham.The late left behind his wife,2 daughters aged: 13 and 7 years,his parents and 3 siblings.We're related,used to stay in the same neighbourhood in teluk intan.I know about the late brother but I have a very vague memories of him.Once,he came with his family to my house for a visit.I'm not sure whether the news came in the papers because he was an employee in the JPJ,a prominent person indeed.Earlier,the news we got was,he was involved in an accident but upon our arrival to his house,we heard a very shocking story.I couldn't even look at his mother,as she was weeping and sobbing non-stop in between her most touching phrases 'he won't be calling me mother anymore,son,they're taking you away,call me once again 'mother' .'They say mother's love can be seen and felt unlike fathers,they keep all their love inside.Their only sign of love towards their offsprings are by being strict.On that day,I saw his father crying like a little boy,mourning away saying "i will never get a son like him,what a waste...".The siblings were reminiscing their memories of their late brother and tears were rolling down their cheeks.It's very touching and unforgettable death that i had ever attended.The late's wife was fully dressed in her saree,with flowers on her hair and all the time she was just leaning against,looking at the demise in his coffin.She was very weak towards the end of the day,even collapsed due to exhaustion and over night cryings.The elder daughter was stronger.Her friends came over,consoled her and I heard her saying "I cried so much yesterday that I couldn't even cry anymore".The little one was aware of her father's death and was in a very silent mode.My elder brothers who were supposed to be attending a temple festival in teluk intan,ended up in hospital to pay their last respect to their childhood friend.

Crime rates are at stake and very alarming in Malaysia now.The best example was last sunday's incident.It's so not a humane act by treating and murdering someone in that manner.The news we got was one of his clients called him for meet up in a coffee shop on friday in the late evening.The late went to meet.And after 2 hours,he was found naked on the road.On examination,his skull was cracked(suspected after being hit by a hammer) and there were few strokes of 'rotan' beatings on his back.Who has the right to take away someone's life in that way?No one...what did he do to deserve this kind of death?I cannot imagine how his family was 'stabbed alive' upon seeing his condition after the post-mortem.It's killing everyone insid just to think 'the animals' responsible for his death are still at large.The motive behind his murder is unknown but suspected to be intentional murder since the late has always been a strict and honest JPJ employee.

Though I have a slightest memory of the late,mum told me on our way back from the funeral that,the late often enquire mum 'how's nita doing and has she already finished her course,sister?'.My eyes were brimmed with tears upon seeing the most saddest moments at the funeral.I'm glad i paid my last respect to him by attending his funeral.

Anna(brother),may you rest in peace.May God pardons all your unfavourable acts.Be a guardian angel to your parents,wife,siblings and kids.Guide them in their lives and be always with them.

Why good people are snatched away from their families very fast?Is it because God loves them more than the ones living on the Earth?One can never reason out why..now this is what you call God's play or better still,KARMA plays it's role here.

You will always live in our memories,R.I.P.

1924

A Fabulous Evening,Thank You.

26th July'09 @ 0131

Date & Time : 25th July 2009 at 7.30 pm

Venue : Yeoldie English,Ipoh Garden

Objective : Annual Grand Reunion 2009

Attendance : 1.Anne Julianna

2.Audrey Malanee

3.Lavania

4.Navanita

5.Shalani

6.Sree Vaneesa

7.Subhashini

8.Vekneshwari

Absentees : 1. Sathia Vani

2.Charanjeet Kaur

3.Hema Rani

4.Lisa Malar

Adjourned Time : 10.30pm

*To my partners in crime,first of all a very big toast for US!We're still going strong despite the million miles separating us.I had a fantastic evening with you all(like always).I laughed my heart out after such a long time.Lovely,you guys are the best,what else can I say?It's nothing like you guys don't know,I'm blessed to have all of you in my life.*

-My token of appreciation-

Audrey @ lecturer cum student,I'm definitely proud of you and yeah the rest were envious when you hugged me first.Aud,thanks for the sweetest school memories.You owe me a lunch/outing date,don't forget.<3

Shalani @ my relative cum best buddy: May my guardian angel be by your side during your interviews.You'll do excellent ,shalu.Thanks for the gym's 'bajus' stories,enjoyed them very much.Yeoldie's was good.<3

Vekneshwari @ My personal consultant.Thanks a tonne for the keropok lekor and dodol from Terengganu.You've been great,congrats on your graduation and all the best in job hunting.<3

Lavania @ my sweetest friend ever.Lava,no matter what,you're still the best.You look more matured than any of us.You're doing a wonderful job out there,ms.masters.Congrats on your upcoming second graduation.Will be missing you tonnes.<3

Subhashini @ champ of the troop. No one can beat the way you express yourself.You attracted everyone with your laughters.Still,reunions won't be the same without you.You're the most wanted person.<3

Sree Vaneesa @ the 'peace' sign's promoter : Job doesn't hinder you from re-uniting you with us.Keep doing well with your job,well I'm sure you will make it.Sree,I ditch the years of silence between us..thanks to charan for making things possible.I'm glad we're buddies now.<3

Anne Julianna @ dj tarantula of the house : you never fail to make me laugh.No one does a better than you,joker.I'm very delightful that you made it to our reunion though after the leg sprain and sun-tanned.Keep rocking the house dj! <3

" ' All I Would Like To Say Is:

The Most I Can Do For My Friend,

Is Simply To Be Her Friend,

I Have No Wealth To Bestow On Her,

If She Knows That I'm Happy In Loving Her,

She Will Want No Other REWARD ' "

Aud,do those aforementioned lines sound familiar?It's written by you to me on 1st August 2000.

It's very meaningful to me,Aud.

Thanks a bunch from the bottom of my heart for making my day.

Till the next reunion,Love ya'll and will be mssing all of you dearly.

xoxoxoxo.

0218

I <3 my brain.And you?

I read an interesting article entitled Brain Foods.Here's the article which i'd love to share with you guys.

*more reasons to consume chocs after it has been named one of the Brain Foods*

What are “brain foods”?

Brain foods are foods that help improve functioning within the brain.

A list of “50 Good Brain Foods“:
Acai berries
Almonds
Avocados
Bananas
Blackberries
Blueberries
Brewer’s yeast
Broccoli
Brown rice
Brussels sprouts
Cantaloupe
Cashews
Cauliflower
Cherries
Cheese
Chicken
Collard greens
Cranberries
Dark chocolate
Eggs
Eggplant
Fish
Flaxseed oil
Green Tea
Lean beef
Legumes
Milk
Oatmeal
Oranges
Peanut butter
Peas
Plums
Potatoes
Pumpkin seeds
Raspberries
Red cabbage
Red grapes
Romaine lettuce
Salmon
Soybeans
Spinach

Stabilized rice bran
Strawberries
Tomatoes
Tuna
Turkey
Walnuts
Water
Wheat germ
Yogurt

Understanding “Good Brain Foods”:

Foods in the complex carbohydrates family are amongst the best type of brain foods. In complex carbohydrates, the molecules are longer. Because the molecular structure is longer, it takes a longer period of time for our intestines to digest and break-down the complex carbohydrates into simple sugars that our body is able to use. Why is a longer digestion or breaking-down process optimal? Because they don’t provide us with a large surge of energy and then die down. They provide our bodies and brain with optimal amounts of balanced energy for our body and brain to access.

What is the glycemic index?

The speed and intensity to which sugars from foods impact our brain cells is measured directly by the “glycemic index” also known as the “G.I.” Foods that are ranked with a high-glycemic index are likely to make our bodies create a lot of insulin.

Eating foods with high glycemic indexes

Eating foods high on the glycemic-index will put lots of stress on the pancreas and will directly affect the body, brain, and our hormone levels. Because the pancreas becomes over-stressed and overworked, the body may feel sluggish and the brain may feel initially energized, but will likely crash within a short period of time. That is why eating foods with a low-glycemic index are recommended.
They don’t put pressure on the pancreas to excrete much insulin and our blood sugar levels remain steady. When our blood sugar levels are steady, our brain is being fed a constant, steady supply of energy to work with; rather than excess energy for 20 minutes followed by a mental burnout for several hours.

5 Supercharged Brain Foods

1.Fish

- in Eskimo’s and countries that are high in fish consumption tend to have slower aging rates, significantly lower percentages of “mental diseases” and “disorders” and an overall healthier population.

-low rates of depression & neurosis and a stabilized mood.
- fights aging in the brain and significantly reduces cognitive decline in the elderly.

2. Avocados
-its monounsaturated; promoting increased circulation and bloodflow to the brain and the body.

- lower blood pressure levels — which is known to benefit the brain. Lower blood pressure is linked to an increase in cognitive abilities and I.Q.

3. Blueberries
-Compounds in blueberries “reverse” short-term memory loss.

- increase the number of cells in the hippocampus - the region of the brain which is responsible for memory.
- prevent brain aging and actually trigger specific neural-pathways in the brain to enhance cognition and mental processing speed.

4. Spinach
-prevent dementia in women.

- strengthen synapses and produce healthy levels of neurotransmitters.

-keeps up Folic acid - low levels of Folic acid have been linked to memory decline and heart disease.
-helps control the amount of water your body retains and helps eliminate bloating. *Neurologists recommend eating spinach at least 3 times a week as brain food.

5. Eggs
-nutrient “cholin” in eggs plays an essential role in the development of brain motor functioning and memory.

At the University of North Carolina, research conducted by Steven H. Zeisel found that the brains of babies whose mothers were given “cholin supplements” showed increased memory functioning and capacity.

Like I had noted earlier..a worthy article..let's start courting after these foods!!

frustrated over arrogance

23rd July'09 @ 1404

an early entry for today.

an early frustrated entry.

An early pissed entry.

an early mixed up feelings entry!!

an entry of dissatisfaction.

an entry which will never be justified.

DAMN!!

I really hate what's going on in A&E especially when the "I'm extremely the best" Dr.Lee is there.Why is she so arrogant? arrogant to the extreme, I would say.From the very first day,she never even looked at us.I don't even know where she 'threw' my evaluation printed paper and official letter from the Jabatan Kesihatan.She's one of the many senior doctors who anti-foreign medical students with a special note if one is from Russia.She just has something against us i think despite her profession's oath.Who am I to bad mouth her right?After all I'm just a 4th year medical student.Still,I can't bottle up whatever she had said indirectly to us.We are invisible to her.We don't exist in front of her eyes.She jokes and talks well with the MAs and patients but not even a look at us when we were just in the department.While interpreting ECG,we were in the room with the MAs and her but she only referred and taught the MAs..we were just IGNORED.It's okay if you don't want to teach us,just don't be sarcastic in return.Like today,she said " too many people" surrounding a school boy with complaints of sudden fever and epigastric pain.When an Indian boy couldn't lye on his back after hitting his buttocks on ground,my friend said "his buttocks is painful".,guess what was her reply?"NOT BUTTOCKS(with a stern face) ,it's GLUTEUS!"..H.E.L.L,you think we don't know? Obviously,we cannot tell the patient "what happen to your gluteus?".While she was examining the patient surrounded by us,she was using the word 'punggung'..now tell me,punggung and buttocks not the same?never taught us anything despite being highly experienced(claimed by the director) but she definitely knows how to hurt students with her sarcasm. A doctor SHOULD NEVER EVER BEHAVE /BE LIKE HER.I don't want to say this but I don't like her.Now A&E has become my least favourite place to hang out when she's there.I wish she will be off for the next 2 weeks and replaced by other doctors..anyone will do,but NOT DR.LEE.In comparison with the other doctors,she's not charismatic enough..even patients would prefer other doctors..once even one of the many frequent patients hinted to us that 'she's moody'.I'm not going to be pulled down by her,it's okay if you don't want us to be in your department and yeah you don't have to waste your time on us.Keep all your hard earned knowledge within you.Period.

Arrogance should never be adopted.I've seen many highly respected,prominent people who are more down-to-earth.What;s there to be arrogant?is it because you're just simply the highly intelligent one?Why not share your knowledge with us?We are seeking for your attention because of your greatness..how could you turn a blind eye on us?Back in Russia,the only doctor whom i regard as being arrogant will definitely be Dr.Andrevna.I know she has all the valid reasons to be like that simply because she's all knowledgeable and very brilliant.I used to have other opinion on her but i was proven wrong.She is someone who you'd wish to be in future.She's unlike Dr.Lee.She still teaches with sarcasm despite being a cunning one.Yet,the best ones and my all time favourite Dr.Tatyana(there's no one to replace you,ma'am,salute you!),.Dr.Panova,Dr.Pavlovna,Dr.Yulia.It will take ages to be like them.Most respected cum best lecturers ever.

I'm still boiling deep inside me..anger is mounting but trying to supress it..let's work harder ,there are still a millions of things to learn...

*hoping for a better day in hospital tomorrow*(keeping my fingers crossed)

1445

wanted or unwanted?

22nd July'09 @ 1538

*stretching my arms once i reached home*..yeap got back from hospital 10 minutes ago.Routine in the hospital today happened to be slightly different.Let me start from the beginning.

Morning,the first department we(I,Li,Michelle and Kanitha) visited was paediatrics.It was only 8.15am,but Dr.Allan almost finished his rounds.We only had 4 patients left when we joined him for rounds.I don't know what's their time table like over there in wards because frequently,the rounds won't be commencing even after 8 am.The only reason i can think of is shortage of doctors which makes one doctor has to cover few departments.Dr.Allan was more friendly today compared to last week.While 4 girls were 'invigilating' him,one of the nurses actually teased him saying 'Dr.Allan,banyaknye awek..'.He on the other hand,smiled sheepishly and the nurse continued 'macam ni,I pun nak jadi doctorla..'.We just smirked among ourselves and remained composed.Later he asked us to examine infants,then clerk a patient:7 months year old baby girl with lower respiratory tract infections (most probably pneumonia or bronchiolitis).Tell you what?that was the most tedious task ever when it comes to auscultating infants/toddlers.Guess,even infants having 'white coat syndrome'.Big,round eyes will be monitoring you closely.Once you approach nearer and take out your stethoscope,there will be a loud cry which can actually turn you deaf if you continue listening with the earpiece.So we gathered information on whatever we could and traced after Dr.Allan who already headed to the O&G department.

At the O&G department,first we followed him on rounds.Not many patients except for a few with anemic problem,pre-natal care and etc.Towards the end of his round,he asked us to join him in Gynaecological Clinic.Went there and another surprise?He Actually asked us to take 4 chairs and sit beside him...get the picture?It's like..when a patient enters,the scenario will look like as if 5 doctors will be consulting her.Ain't that cool?Sitting there doesn't mean you can shake your legs.He asked us questions and we tried our very best to answer him.Here's the high light :on discussing about antipyretics for children,I mentioned ACETAMINOPHEN and he was like?.."what?"..'what is it again?'..seeing him trying to pronounce the name is quite funny.Russian Medical Students know about the drug whereas the doctor didn't even heard of it!..*i'm flying high* :p..actually,he even said "acetaminophen,okay today i learned something new"..when patients consulted and left he will ask our opinion and bombard us with questions.At one point,he just said "women and their problems,I don't like gynae,i'm forced and thrown to this!!!..." even he mentioned on "I don't trust girls"..Normally,I will repent and will give say back the same to the opposite sex but all of us infact just kept quiet and rolled our eyes,(well I did)!!Too bad I can't argue back since he's a doctor!! JUst because he's a doctor...duh!

Before we left to medical department,he wanted us to clear doubts on rehydation therapy and definitions on few terms which he will be asking us tomorrow.He wanted us to join him even tomorrow!! Now,the wind is blowing to our side that we are feeling 'wanted'.

In medical department,the rounds has ended and at 12pm,A& E was really hectic today with many severely injured victims of MVAs(motor vehicle accidents).Since many MAs and Dr.Lee was there,we were indirectly and sarcastically told by Dr.Lee "too many spectators'' .I didn't feel like being there after that,what more when the highly experienced Dr.Lee is there.

We weren't loitering but went to the canteen while waiting for the time to strike 1 pm so that we can attend a talk on seroquel & it's mechanism of action.We were officially invited by Dr.Joshita to attend the talk which was delivered by Dr.Anandjit Singh(psychiatrist) from Hospital Bahagia,Tanjung Rambutan.After 10 minutes,we headed back to medical department,greeted by Dr.Joshita whom later took us to the conference hall.

Prior to Dr.Anandjit examining a patient,the talk was delayed till 1.40 pm.We were ushered to have lunch.Before we could even eat,we had to enter back the room with our food.Dr Joshita organised this CME (continuous medical education) programme.Attendance will be given points/merits.Even we had to jot down our names on the attendance sheet.Dr Anandjit made his appearance and gave an interesting 15 minutes presentation on seroquel which inhibits dopaminergic receptors,modulates serotonin receptors and enhances noradrenergic receptors.It's very useful in psychotic patients who are often apathy due to low serotonin level and high dopamine level in combating psychosis.The drug carries positive effect on human body but towards the end,I realised that the negative/side effects of it wasn't mentioned.And now that doesn't seem right because I believe each and every drug has it's own pro and cons.

Dr.Anandjit concluded his presentation with 2 questions to check attentiveness of the attenders.1st question on indications of seroquel was answered by a staffness:schizophrenia,bipolar mania,depression and bipolar maintenance.Whilst the 2nd question on receptors responsible for seroquel's action was answered by ME: dopaminergic,serotonin and noradrenergic..and I got a small gift from the pharmacist.:)

We finished our left over food,washed our hands,said bye to Dr.Joshita and went to the A&E again.Dr.Jittra was there ..well she's more like Dr.Lee.Didn't bother us much.Can't blame her also since there was a patient in a critical condition.Yet,she didn't even give us a small smile..so we 'hanged out' there for awhile.Dr.Allan was there too in A&E.

At about 3pm,I drove back home since we weren't being much of a help to them.

1625

Unforgettable Days.

20th July'09 @ 1434

So went my weekend(the best,so far!).what made it so special you may ask?It was Family reunion!!! who'd want to miss it right?Nothing matters more than just being present there with my beloveds.3 celebrations in a row: saisha's 1st year birthday party followed by mum's pre-birthday celebration at 12midnight then finally on sunday:bhajans and mum's birthday celebration once again:).Previous years,we used to surprise mum by flowers sent by the florist,this year Ragu and I got the finest made birthday cake(needless to say,very expensive!) for mum.Suspense never works with mum ,why?naturally mum has 6th sense where she can just read something's fishy by just looking at your face,so what more right?when it's her birthday!

At saisha's birthday,I already pre-informed about our plan to my elder brothers,uncles,aunties whilst Ragu went to collect the cake at 9pm,sent it home and joined us at saisha's birthday party.Everyone was there except for my eldest brother and his family and priya who wanted to attend a motivational talk(which later she regretted forsaking the reunion for it!).Because of her,Uncle Surya had to go back with Haanu after the function and missed the second day's fun part.Aunt stayed here and Uncle was actually so restless at home that he actually planning to drive back to Ipoh!

Saisha's birthday went well with that little cutie of mine behaved well,cake was nicely cut and she was infact in her best cheerful mood.Food was very tasty an delicious with my all time favourites:satay and other indian cuisines.

This time around,my nieces and nephews recognised me better compared to at Uncle Surya's and previous years.Few of them were very reluctant to come near/give a peck on my cheek.I,on the other hand,very keen to hug and carry them..how can i resist?My dearies are too cute:) They have a reason to behave that way since I'm not in any part of family gatherings for 10/12 months/year.They know who I am a but,it wasn't easy to cuddle them.I had to ask my 2nd elder bro's junior: 'who am I?What's my name?'...and the answer: a wide smile and i'm sure that 5 year old simply shot an answer "akka"(sister)..:p I was :"no..go and ask nana(dad)"..he obeyed,vanished from my sight and went to my elder bro.The 2nd time i asked him,he gave me the same smile and gave me this 'tersipu-sipu malu' look..I couldn't help laughing and told him.I do that very often to my little ones and most of them will get me right with exception of a few!!

Tashirra was no more that "pohon semalu"/a member of the communist club at the age of 5.When she was younger,she was a very reserved kind of person and only tagged behind her Chinana(youngest elder bro) and othuna(sister in law).Now,she's more jovial and miggles well with us.Her blue iris has changed just like any of us:brown black.She is the miracle baby of the family for being the first pre-term baby.Reshma sai still maintaining her cutesness like tashirra is more friendlier and less of a hassle compared to when tashirra was her age.Reshma actually came and pulled my dress whilst I was chit-chatting with aunties.I was indeed taken by surprise,bent down and carried my cutie.She showed me her mask and birthday party set which she was wearing at the moment:)Nevaena Sai being the youngest of the 3 sisters,was extra reserved(now if I compare her with Tashirra).Her big round eyes,curved eyelashes,curly hair and fair skin makes her the center of attraction besides saisha.

Saesheindra and Divya being the best of buddies since small,still the same...if shane is missing,then you will know divya will be missing too...wherever they go,always hand in hand and together!Kids nowadays are far more advanced -their talk revolves on high school musical,avril lavigne,youtube at the age of 9 and 10!

Nimeesha,sailendra and murkesh are the 3 muskeeters,hanging out together.Siblings togetherness,I would say.Nimeesha and saesheindra are 2 competitors in studies just like Meelashinhi and Awinash.Nimeesha at age of 9,already knows how to look good- with the right touch ups/make ups to go along with her dress.Sailendra is the 'silent killer'..very quiet but never leave him out of your sight!:)Murkesh has his 'donald-duck's' (very cute) smile.his eyes actually twinkles when he smiles.Awinas and Liknesh had missed all the fun and I'm actually longing very much to see them.Awinash is the brainy and a fierce competitor when it comes to studies.

Sister Parames' juniors are the hyperactives ones.Ritesh is a 'rojak' well he is exact Uncle Seema's look alike..with his little tummy bulging out,try talking to this 6 year old and you'll get an idea how knowledgeable he is at his age.Sevitha,3 year old..too active.She loves to mimic like 'power puff girls'.She posed such way in all pictures taken!She can even do fly-kicking.Ragu became Ritesh and Sevitha's victim with them practicing their stunts on him.

On mum's side,yet to meet my senior cousins.The juniors have come down to see me which include:Rao,Sashvin,Sravani,Rishu,and Pavithra.All have grown up and I realise now,it's so much of fun to spend time with them.3 years ago,when I hear they will be coming over,I used to keep all my belongings out of their reach.But now,all are so matured,disciplined and they listen to you.Each and every movement of yours are closely watched.When I fiddle for my Gen 2 keys,they actually ran out ,buckle their feet with shoes and got ready to hitch a ride with me.

When bhajan's were over,Rao made us roti canai,we dined together,cleared all the mess and they left to penang.Rao's roti canai *thumbs up*..:)I'm looking forward for our cousins's reunion very soon.My house is very quiet now with Ragu left to USM today early morning,no kids laughters,running footsteps,bickering among themselves.As for me,I took off from hospital today since I was all worn out and could barely stand with my feet.

1552

Just being me,myself and I

18th July'09@ 0105

Since I can't go out and paint the town red at odd hours,I chose to be an insomniac even when it's Friday!

What had happened for the past 3 weeks?:

1.24th June : taugeh ayam(ipoh's special) dinner with anne and subha.

2.25th June: convo saree shopping with lava and vicks

3.28th June:drove to teluk intan-bagan dato with mum,ragu and grandpa

4.29th June:outing with subha and vicks to RPS,JJ(with lava).

5.4th July:salwar kameezes shopping with mum:)

6.10th July: outing with mum again

7.11th July : our so incomplete reunion at anne's with anne,shalu,subha,sree,sharala and asha

8.12th July: back to my favourite place(teluk intan) for Uncle Surya's 51st birthday (a memorable day) and the best of it-Family reunion.

9.13,14,15,17 July: learning and enjoying practicals with set IV line,ET,ABG,P.E,clerking patients,updating with medications/tabs.

10.17th July: Ragu and Cousin Sis came over for the weekend,attended a birthday celebration and spent time with mum and dad.

*17th July*

I got my EVER FIRST ride on the ambulance today.After 'the hang out' in the female medical department,i went to the emergency ward.In the midst of patients with eye irrigations and bandages,we received a call on a skidded and overturned car!!! The paramedics were getting ready and stress was mounting in the atmosphere.One of the paramedics told us "there's empty space,who wants to come?"..I was so excited that I jumped into the ambulance..too ecstatic that I was imagining and telling my junior that by now definitely the rescue team would've been there.I even imagined the normal catastrophic scene with a large pool of blood and not to leave out..a huge crowd.1 driver,3 paramedics and 2 medical students in an ambulance which sped off about 20 km from the hospital.The adrenaline rush is definitely present once the siren was switched on.You don't have to be a YB/PM/star/prominent person to clear the road..all you need is to get into an ambulance-relax,sit back and enjoy the speeding ambulance ride!We got ourselves prepared with sterile gloves waited anxiously till we reached the scene of accident.

Upon reaching,the car was still in good shape despite the overturn.The victim was in good consciousness with GCS :15/15.After settling the one and only patient on the ambulance,we headed back to the hospital.We managed to talk to the patient who complained of chest pain(perhaps due to the shock/tachycardia).Patient's condition: a 4 cm cut on his forehead.Reason of accident: patient was too sleepy--he lost control of the car!

Praise the Lord for there were no other victims.The only indication/sign of the accident scene is the car and a few passerby.Besides that,nothing more exciting happened..well blame it on my overused brain which causes my imaginations to run wild.Anyhow,it was a worthily experience being on an ambulance.How many of us actually get that chance?I'm definitely the lucky one!I want more rides and the next time,I'm still going to hop into it!:)*

Things that I'm looking forward for the next few days:

1.18th July:family reunion for saisha's 1st year birthday celebration-can't wait for tomorrow evening to come(yeah,in 16 hours..:))

2.19th July:Mum's birthday celebration and holy chants/carolling/bhajan in house.

3.practicals in BGH.

4.shopping

5.a call from lava and aud confirming on their presence for our grand reunion on 25th July.

6.Spend more time with mum and dad.

7.readings.

8.blogging.

9.watch movies.

10.download songs.

11.almost forgot..and yeah outings when I'm available:)

have a fun-filled weekend,nita.

Yes,thank you ,I will definitely.*smile*

0200

I'm back alive...

16th July'09@1741

In 24 hours time,my angel is back home! fuh..what a relief..now only i can breath a fresh air after the aftermath.It's back..yes it's parked right in front of me.Went to the mechanic earlier than I'm supposed to.One thing,i couldn't;t wait till the mechanic asked me 'i would've given you a call,why did you come early?'..I only gave a him a small smile while looking at my Gen 2 being nicely washed and polished.You can't detect the dent or scratches any longer(right below the head lights and beside the oil tank..luckily,it wasn't a major disaster!)...yeap it looks just like before..as if nothing happened to it..dad and mum jokingly said "no sign of hitting on it,let's just tell ragu"..and i was like "NO!"..i insisted on sending Gen 2 yesterday itself because the 'correction' will take 1 day..and Ragu will be back home tomorrow in the late evening!Somehow,he will be wondering on saturday morning why the Gen2 is 'too clean' and sparkles(obviously after a major polishing!)..no,he won't suspect anything unless if my dearests tell him or if he happens to surf and hooked his eyes on my blogspot!Believe it or not,without car i feel like I'm so lost..it's a miracle how I'm surviving back in Russia only with public transports.I'm on cloud 9 right now with my angel is safely sent to home.:)

Morning I had plans lined out but i didn't carry them out.Why?Simply because I'm feeling so damn lethargic,or maybe the best word that can describe me currently is being plain lazy.I just had no interest to do anything.I was alone at home ,yet didn't switch on the tv/fm.Instead,i was just surfing and reading the many entries of blogs.That's the only urge I had ever since morning.Duh..change of the wind or some 'unhealthy or healthy?"' vibes been attacking me(i suppose)!I was going through a blog by an american paramedic..interesting,occupied and always on the go..not much differences than a doctor's life.Later,shifted my attention to shalu and maalini's blogs.I always thought my vegetative system is imbalance,little did i realise earlier that it's common to get all stressed up the days before exams and it doesn't spare anyone...the difference is how a person can cope up with it and complete the task on time.Still,the rad mind of mine insisting on the level of cortisol and cathecolamines in me probably higher than average,and results in my panicness and spiked up stress level.I need to get hold on this and I will.No more bowing to my rival-stress anymore!

After the many readings,i shifted my attention to my blog page and added more gadgets in it.Yeap got Mixpod.com with my all time favourite songs ..the bright side of it: now my blog readers can be entertained..:)then,did blog roll which will keep me updated with the latest entries from my fellow readers.

I spent too much of time entertaining myself today..*normally i will condemn this attitude of mine but today i feel all the better maybe because I did what i like after so long*-I'm just being myself here.

To tell the truth,i missed being in the hospital today.waiting for tomorrow to come..yeay it's Friday!

1805

Gen 2 & I

15th July @ 1743

I was asking for an extraordinary day but didn't expect my day will turn out like this today.Unforgettable day..yes definitely: it's the day!

It was raining at the wee hours in the morning.Despite being awakened(i don't know by what?) many times at 1.30 am and 5 am,I could hear thunders and heavy rain pouring outside.As the alarm rang at 6.10am,i wished i could just drift into the bed..duh,who could actually resist such a nice weather to continue sleeping?I was very jovial today morning.I even had the time to chit chat with mum while sipping my milo.Left home at 7.45 am to the hospital.I turned on the fm like any other days,getting into the flow of the music and continued driving.The road was slippery and drenched after the overnight rain.Even at the moment i was driving,it was still drizzling.

I was at my usual speed between 90-100km/hour.Approximately 10 minutes away from the exit to batu gajah,I slowed down and braked upon seeing the traffic light turning red.Within a blink of the eye,I felt a thud behind,subsequently i jolted in front.My eyes quickly shot a look at the rear view mirror and ..yes like you had suspected..a yellow kelisa had just hit my Gen 2 from behind!I was so distracted that i blurted out "F***".Turned off the fm,unlocked the car, embarked out from Gen 2.The owner was a female in her 20s,hurried towards me saying 'sorry,sorry..I skidded,i tried to avoid but I lost control". *WTF* right?I mean,if you know how to speed,then you must be able to control the wheels..it was my very first time standing on a road with a stranger.My heart sunk when i saw the scratched marks and a dent right under the right side at the back on Gen 2.Luckily she tried to avoid,if not,she would've compensated more than she could.She sounded apologetic,didn't argue at all,instead confessed that she was guilty.I gave a call to mum.Mum had a talk with her and after jotting down her details:lecturer in Petronas University,her badly conditioned kelisa,mobile number and house address only,I let her go.

That was my second time near death experiences(though not so) if i were to classify it.The first time was during my lower six day(after 3 months of getting my license@ new driver).And again.it wasn't my fault.It was this mini lorry driver who out of nowhere sped off on my right resulting in inward turning and scratched right side-view mirror.I still remember that time i totally freaked out that I didn't even dare to call neither dad nor mum simply because I was terrified of the thought that they will never let me drive cars again in my life.But,everything turned out the other way round,i became more comfortable overtaking big vehicles,mum dad never scolded me but the first thing they asked upon me reaching home was "Are you okay?we don't care about the car..it's you that matters"..the same incident repeated today,since dad wasn't in ipoh,mum said "it's okay..you can still drive right?we will go to the mechanic after you're back from hospital".

I dismissed myself early today from the hospital at 3.30 pm.An hour ago Mum,I and mum's colleague were at the mechanic's after the meet up with the kelisa owner.She came with a friend of hers.She didn't even utter a word.The dealing and talking were done by her friend who looked like a big shot.He shook my hand saying "it was a disaster today morning..".I just replied back saying "hello..and yeah" the rest of the talking was done by mum and her colleague.Dad called me(just like always) at 1pm today asking where I was.I didn't tell him on the incident that had happened instead i just told" I'm in the hospital,not going home for lunch".Before reaching the automobile's,dad returned my call and I informed on what had happened.I felt jitters all over when I hid the news from dad.Dad was like "so it happened early in the morning.." and I know the meaning of the a pause in his voice.Second call came right after I arrived at home and dad's voice said "I know it's not your fault,must've been the driver driving recklessly"..so it's done and to put it all together,my Gen 2 will be sent back to me tomorrow in the evening.

I know how much the Gen 2 means to Ragu.I was mentioning earlier it's mine right?Actually it's not.The Gen 2 belongs to Ragu.It's his 21st birthday gift from mum and dad.He left it for me for 2 months till my return to Russia.I know how carefully he took care of his so called 'angel'..I'm not going to tell him on what had happened.No doubt,it will break his heart though after a slight touch up,Gen 2 will be shining like a brand new car.Sorry Ragu.You know I'm a better driver than you.Just a slight mishap,nothing more critical..useless kelisa driver!

Before dad and mum got him one,I've always admired Gen 2's sleek features..I loved it and upon my landing,Gen 2 actually received me in KLIA.It became my most loyal companion during my outings,drives to teluk intan,outings with mum,dad,ragu and my besties.Lovely car indeed,and it's my angel too.

To sum it all,tomorrow I will be off from the hospital.Unavoidable since dad's not around,kancil with Ragu and Gen 2 is being improvised.I'm longing to see you,Gen 2.Missing you terribly though it has only been 2 hours since I left you.:(

What a day!

1848

Part III of 'My hang out'

14th July'09 @ 1829

I know i've been making entries almost everyday better to say,whenever i feel like making an entry mainly because I left my diarie in 410(purposely) which makes me turn to blogspot.My mind is wandering away without direction wish i can get hold of it.."hey,you belong to me,don't stray away from me,get it?"- i'm strictly ordering you this,encephalon!Don't make me do any knocking on you~ I have things to do and you know that very well,don't ya?Don't divert and stay focused!

Nothing extraordinary happened today.The weather was all gloomy since morning,didn't spot a single streak of sunlight shining on me.Went for round at the O&G.Dr.Allan Ravi (anne's cousin bro) was on duty.I bet he was awkward when 6 girls were following him for rounds.We did ask his permission to go on rounds with him and he said(very soft-spoken) 'okay'.As he was clerking and doing P.E on a patient,he turned and asked "so,what you supposed to be doing/want to do?"..and that proves my statement earlier..maybe he thought we were invigilating him or whatsoever.We stayed till he finished,then I did Leopold's maneuver on a 37 weeks pregnant mother;checked Moro,grasp,suck reflexes and checked the descended testicles on a newborn.

The medical department was 'house full' today.Dr.Joshita greeted us with a 'hi' and we tagged behind her.Rounds took nearly 2 hours and by 12pm,we were couldn't stand any longer!!New cases on admissions:dengue fever with very low platelets and white blood cells count,MVA victim,newly diagnosed AHT patient.The Indian woman whom i talked to yesterday,had severe chest pain on thiazide intake.Her medication has been stopped and continued with Ca-channel blockers and ACE inhibitors.Perhaps the patient wasn't aware of her high blood glucose level,she ACTUALLY asked Dr.Joshita whether she can be discharged today!I'm sure the patient will be in the ward till her glucose level normalises and her chest pain improves for better.Too many patients till Dr.Joshita exclaimed "aiya,why all the patients require me to think alot today?"..we just gave her our smiles.Soon,very soon will be my turn~ Going rounds with her is not stressing but questions are thrown at us..as for example today on haematology,answered what striked to our minds and definitely with aid from the Oxford Clinical Medicine Book.

Emergency department was less functional today.Yesterday i stayed in ER throughout lunch break and left the department at 4.30 pm.Dr.Taranjit actually asked me 'where did you go missing?"..I was so tempted to answer her "doc,i didn't curi tulang.." instead i told her "i didn't go for lunch of 2 hours and had to go back"..she actually 'threatened/bullied' saying "Boss(Dr.Prema) was looking for you all"..our eyes grew larger when she mentioned her name and yes definitely we don't want to mess up with her.Hopefully,she hasn't set her eyes on us!!

A mini update on today's routine..so another 3 more days for the week to come to an end before saisha's first year birthday.Okay,signing off now..dasvidanya.

Give time TIME

11th July'09 @ 0126

"Guess this is what people call heart to heart talk,thanks vicks".

"yeap true,this is what besties do at midnight"..."good night,take care"

-so ended the conversation of 2 hours between vicks and I.Vicks,i never told you this before--thanks for your concern and your care,dear friend.I have to say this,I got to know you better this year compared to the many years we spent together in school.Time is what it takes to get to know a person better,well that's according to you.You're right girl,time is all that matters.Time heals almost everything,true?my verdict will be in a few years time on this phrase.

If anyone ask me what comes first in life?:time or money?my answer will be clear-cut:TIME.surprised?thought i might say money?nope..money has never been the prime 'chase-after-thingy-' for me(i hope it will stay that way for years to come).Money is not everything..money is important but IT's NOT EVERYTHING!I know few others might think i'm going nuts for choosing time over money.Looking back at the many things revolving around me,the factor of time has been forgotten by many.

One might not realise the importance and the value of time till it's abused and taken for granted by loved/dearest ones.

Sparing few minutes,can straighten the broken things.why is it so hard to sit and have a table talk?what's the use in releasing rage in hatred words,pretending and faking acts towards each other?i despise that very much.

A simple forgotten 'hello' and 'checking outs' can lead to misconceptions..*sigh* and the reason for all this?"hectic schedule and busy lifestyle ..."..darn,whateverla..in the end,it's all up to you how you are going to mend things back into action.Just do it before it's too late,sincerely hoping for that because it really hurts when the person you look up,respect and the most dearest to your heart behaves that way,yeah the way like any other people.

Don't wait for tomorrow to make the change,do it now,AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Nothing more than I can ask here ,simply "Give Time TIME".You'll be surprised of the many things that can work out by this aptitude.

"20 years from now you will be more disappointed by teh things you didn't do than by the ones you did.So,throw off the bowlines,sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your sails.Explore.Dream."-Mark Twain.

0155

'hang out' in the ER

8th July @ 2313

Just an update on what had happened today before i get started with my readings.After 2 weeks of complete hibernation on lazing around,it was a tedious task to wake up at 6.30 am today.Night went to bed early(so not like me) but I was tossing from right to left and vice versa,simply because I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep!!I have the slightest idea when i dozed off but pretty sure that I slept after 2 hours i hit my bed!

I woke up without alarm 10 minutes before 6.30 am.Dad came knocking on the door as the alarm clock striked.I wanted to pull the blanket and stay in the bed but an inner voice shouted "GET UP!!!!"..right then,jumped off the bed and got ready to hospital.

Reached there,it's indeed a small hospital compared to Ipoh GH.Dad accompanied.We went to the administrative building,the director of the hospital was in a conference and we had to wait for her at the E & A department.Waited and waited..everyone thought I was the new intern,waiting to join their team.A M.A even handed me a book to to verify something whilst i was enquiring about the doctors which I'm supposed to be seeing!!!

Waiting for alomost an hour then a doctor on duty said I should come back after lunch since the director was busy.So here you go,I came back home.At 1pm,I drove there and at 2 pm,I managed to get a glimpse of Dr.Prema(the director) and she directed(carrying out her duty) me to report myself at to Dr.Lee in E & A.And again,I took a walk and went there.Dr.Lee, a female doctor who didn't actually bothered to ask me what I'm supposed to do,she just took a glance at my application forms,nodded with the sound "mmm,mmm,' then off she went leaving my forms behind on the table after saying "you can HANGOUT here"..can you actually HANG OUT in wards moreover when it's E& A?.I stood there cluelessly,watching the fastidious team admitting the non severe emergency cases.

Out of nowhere,a junior of mine from med. school greeted,which later joined by two other medic students from Moscow.I WAS really relieved.Without wasting more time,I immediately clad myself with my white coat and joined their team.A worker even wished me 'selamat berjaya' after enquiring teh reason of my presence there.

The emergency department in batu gajah hospital is not so alarming like in ipoh gh.The atmosphere was more relaxed.School childrens comprised majority of its patient.One of the boys had a cut on distal phalanx of his thumb,a 4 year old boy with atopic dermatitis and bronchopneumonia,a little boy with hematuria and proteinuria,a psychiatric patient with drug abuse,an old singh man with severe vomitting and diarrhea,a golf resort worked who had been bitten by a snake,a form 1/2 young female student with asthma(had cardiac asthma previously),and the latest admittance was a woman with severe hypergylcemia.

I hope tomorrow will be more promising.Based on the feedback that i got,Dr.Joshita will be taking students for rounds every day at 8am.Isn;t that great?I'm beginning to think that she is more like Dr.Lee in Ipoh GH.I'm keen to go back there as the group i belong to this time is more dedicated..so below are the new changes in my routine:

1.Wake up before the sun rises- at 6 am.

2.The drive actually takes only 30 minutes one way..if I accellerate,guess can reach in 20 minutes:P

3.Be at the hospital atleast at 8.15am.

4.Learn as much as possible..*semangat*

5.Readings at night:)

6.outings,outings..subha,vicks,you guys have to go out without me for the time being...

7.working hours: 8am till 5 pm.

boy,don't I just love my summer holidays?

2348

The busy Bee

7th July @ 1354

It's exactly 2 weeks of my return from russia.Ordinary things been taking place.My routine was practically so stereotypical with late night 'off to bed' and waking up late the following morning.Jet lag still predominates which explains me being the nocturnal person.But on a happier note,I'm happy for tomorrow will be some changes in my activity besides reading,blogging,hanging out with my buddies and being the potato couch-Yeay..will be starting my practicals tomorrow!:)

Bureocracy is not something new in Malaysia.Dad sent the the summer practical's application last month in June and yet after 1 month (6th July),the one in charge for it still searching for my application..i was supposed to start my practicals last week ,and now it got delayed another week.After two phone calls and it's done..i can officially start my practical tomorrow at batu gajah hospital.I was tempted to use my previous year's tag of Ipoh GH and enter the hospital if I didn't get an answer from batu gajah hospital.From what i heard,Ipoh GH is strict this year that only limited number of students who had applied earlier can undergo their practicals.After the much controversies on the issues of Malaysian Medical Students in Russia should complete their practicals in Russia itself,I ended up sending in my application letter late which only enabled me to secure a spot in batu gajah hospital.

Therefore,tomorrow onwards,there will be no more late nights blogging,no more waking up at 11 am,no more brunch.(Going to miss that,obviously!)Instead,there'll be :

1.waking up at 6.30 am in the morning.

2.off to hospital whick will take about 40 minutes from hope,but it's ok since i will be having my car:)

3.hopefully,can get back home before late evenings.

4.outings stictly on weekends.

5.readings at nights.

in conclusion: I love to make myself occupied.

1413

The New Man In You

5th July'09@ 2.34am

Ragu just finished stuffing his luggages with his casual wears and books.I folded his previous faithfully served semester's denims,jeans and t-shirts and kept them in his cupboard.(according to him,those are the old ones which he has no intention on bring back this sem).2 months of university break finally came to and end for him.It will be 2 weeks since my return and now he has to leave.Frankly speaking,not enough.Definitely,not enough the time i spent with him.He is one of the reasons why I came back early this year to Malaysia.(earliest in my 4 years of medic studies).Had I followed my schedule of return,I wouldn't even had the period of 2 weeks with him.Atleast I had that and no regrets here.

Seeing him pack his bags,I felt something is being taken away from me.To be precise,suddenly I felt he is moving very far away from me.I wish he could stay longer so we can carry out the many things we had planned earlier before my return.To my dismay,we only carried out not even half of it due to some consequences and time constraints.Tomorrow he will be off and I will be left alone at home without a sibling to tell jokes and push around.I'm so going to miss him very much,like I always do.

Dad always say that "you're my right eye and ragu is the left one".Truly,I don't know what I will bedoing without him.But one thing that's definite,I will be the most serious one without him in my life.Being the first child,mum used to tell me that I didn't even want to go near what more to touch and play with him for about 2 weeks.3 years of being the only child,I was so possesive( at that very tender age) that I didn't want to share my parents love with anyone else.They say' a touch can make wonders'.I believe that's true.Soon as time passed by,we clicked together and begun the new rivalry between us.It's not something new,we just had something against each other whilst growing up.

Like I said earlier,we bonded but certainly we are the two opposite ones..just like 'yin and yang'.If there's a chemistry between us,it has to be only on Manchester United( I can say with confidence here!).The rest of the times,we just happened to agree on a word when there's a strong force exerting at the same time on both of our minds(miraculously!)

Still,I never wished to be the only child born to my parents though mum used to punish me first when he threw tantrums during his early days.Being mum's son and on extra plus point -BEING THE YOUNGEST- everybody loved him and still loves him alot( and no I'm not envious of him,lol..I have everything including him:) ).He was extremely cute when he was borne,cuter than I was.I loved his hair and his fair skin(yeap,fairer than I was)..too cute till now he will be compared to my new born nieces and nephews.As i was and still 'am daddy's girl,I always had/have dad by my side during times of ordeals especially when got cannings from mum during meals time.:p

My life would have been very incomplete without ragu.Watching him grow ever since then made me realise how much he has changed.Regardless of the many changes in him,he is still grandpa's most beloved,loved and adored grandson among the others.Ragu is always first to him.

Even when he was a child,he was a troublemaker.At the age of 6 years, he got few stitches on his right thigh after collapsing to the ground from his 'mini-mountain bike'.If my memory serves me right,the same year he was rushed to the 24 hours clinic to have immediate aid on his bleeding ear after falling down from the double decker bed past midnight.He was such a brat,wasn't he?Yet,he was everyone's favourite.

Enrolled into chinese kindergarden and continued till secondary school.He followed my footsteps by taking up STPM but was in physics.Formerly,he was more of a very obedient boy.Very obedient indeed.Even now he is but things have changed.As he was growing up,he became very close to daddy.Dad's tremendous sense of responsibilty has been assimilated into him.He got it and holds it close to his heart.He showed interest to everything that;s happening with dad's business at the age of 13 and that interest never once faded from him.Aunties will always praise him for being the most responsible ones and even said my parents are LUCKY to have him as their son!

He certainly didn't want to adopt 'all work makes jack a dull boy'.Like any other boys,he was playful and even now at times but to a lesser extent.Soccer,tae-kwando became his life in secondary school.For him,soccer= Manchester United,a die-hard fan till now!* believe it,at 3am,he just checked the latest news on Owen's transfer to MU on my lappie..*.

Before he attained his teenagehood,everyone said that he looked like mum but now he's like the mirror image of dad.He has what it takes to be a man with responsibilties in life.And obviously,he knows how to rebel and protest now to prove him right.Dad and mum have to give him a chance because he is 21 this year.I can give you the best example,dad and mum planned to celebrate his 21st birthday this july but he had anotehr plan in his mind.He wanted to make something different..he put forward his suggestion --->'let's celebrate my 23rd birthday grandly once i'm already a graduate'..to my suprise,dad agreed after giving much thoughts saying it's a great idea!..see?this is Ragu now.

Being a university student and a 21 year old,friends do play major role here.Dad's favourite comparison "your friends reflect the type of friends you miggle with".Ragu rarely goes out with his friends but when he does,his decision will be so abrupt that he will tell dad "Daddy,i'm taking the car,will be going out for awhile"..late night returns (twice) which i had noted became evident this time around.There was once he came back at 12.30 am after leaving home at 10 pm.Dad and mum went to bed but were still awake till he returned.And as for me?I was the one who opened the door to let him in!Bet dad was more cool about it since he is a GUY! I remembered when I came back home at 1.30 am (my first and last late nite return) after outing with friends on thaipusam day (after stpm),dad and mum were like "I know you can take care of yourself but YOU ARE A YOUNG LADY,should come back early!"...and now this is discrimination...lol.

This time when he will be going back to his campus in less than 12 hours time,being a second year senior,he has been given a car by dad and mum to make his life easier in campus.I know he had to endure the 'lectures' from especially dad before he could make dad undertstand the reason why he needed a car.I'm sure he knows how to ahndle whatever that may come in his life as long as he listens and remebers by heart whatever that has been told to him by mum and dad.

I will be missing you dearly,bro.Another 2 more years and we will celebrate our post convocations dinners together in 2011.That's a promise.Have a safe journey back to campus and my eternal wish for you: all the very best and you will definitely succeed in your future undertakings.Take care and be a good student cum young man.

with lots of love,

nita.

3.57am