over the years...

-I must grasp more-

1520 @ 31st July'10

Screw me for posting an entry almost a month ago and finally after a request from shalu,I decided to make an entry today.A month has gone and another month is on its way..august!!!Not looking forward,wasn't expecting time to pass by me fast,but on another thought,this time,it will be my last and final 'go-back' to my 2nd home: Russian Fed for my final year of my 6 years of medical studies.Happy,extremely happy but I know for definite that I will be missing Nizhny,memories of being abroad +medical studies+new friends+ETC+euro tours are the very few things which I will be missing much.I've had a fair share in all these.

Another phase of life is waiting for me eagerly.A Doctor's life.I know it won't be any easier.I used to mourn during high school days,"damn,I'm stressed..."...during form 6 :"man,how am I going to get through these subjects?It's way stressful than form 5"...But now in Medic line,I realised the true meaning of "STRESS".That's when I came to my self-realisation" "should have studied more harder,yes harder and harder..." and now the dissatisfaction still lingers in my mind whenever it gets a chance to invade me..medic studies,no joke -i always have these 'threatening voices' in my mind saying -you gotta do well,you will be dealing with lifes----what could be more frightening than this right?The mass evolution of medicine nearly every day proves the fact that a physician has something new to learn every day.Being a Junior Doctor,I won't claim myself as the superior one.Still,I would admit humbly:I still have a long way to go.6 years of studies which will be coming to an end next year in June,is just the beginning.The real drama of my life will enfold soon...

JUly'11,I know I will be busy preparing all the necessities to start my new life.I know I will be waiting more anxiously to receive my posting letter from MMA,I know I will be packing to move out (if I ever get posted to elsewhere besides in ipoh),I know I will be spending most of my life in hospitals,I know I will be having a very little time for my family and friends,I know I wont be able to just drive and meet up with my buddies at a mall after a ring(like now!)...a busy bee's life(perhaps 100 fold than that is peeping at me)..I chose this,yes I know but now for sure I can tell that---for the past 22 years of my life;books have played the major role and life has become more serious,I wish it's less serious and less demanding(slight regret is there,to be honest ).

Medical studies and memories cannot be separated.Memories can keep us alive though at times it can be pretty ugly.What all of us need is a memorable one.So the best is,keep the beautiful ones which gave you the happiest moment in life and throw the rest away.Things and people will change,hence don't compromise--you got ur life to live on,let the other person to mend and change their life for better.Nature of forgiving shouldn't be taken for granted...stand firm with ur decisions,don't hold any grudges on others(even on ur enemies),focus in what u have to do and be who you are,but when you have to EXPLODE,please don't bottle up ur anger.Let it go.

I'm not a philosopher wanna-be,just an ordinary girl..I'm not superior/great but I will always remain as me for years to come.I don't throw people out of my life but expect the unexpected when you mistreat me.:)

Well,I'm very much looking forward for tomorrow for an outing with aud,sathia,vicks..5 days at home with the idiot box playing and airing some crappy movies,is just too much to bear with..can't wait to see the rest tomorrow..gonna have a long day outing and surely will be missing those absentees;shalu,sree,subha,anne....okay,signing off for now.

1606