passion remains:)

*a much worthy excript from The Pursuit of Happyness*

10th February 2012 @ 2345

So I survived my first posting.Pulled through myself in a ward which usually shook heads of many house officers and most importantly,managed to get the much precious signature of the specialist to certify i have completed my 4 months of 1st posting on time.I think I was given a boon to face him for his signature .Submitted my log book on 9th Feb to the management and you can see it on my face,I am RELIEVED.So what's next?need to be build up stamina and get back to normal life(and I so much want that) before I start on my 2nd posting.What next awaits?Will see it with a positive attitude,as usual:)

There's always another side when you toss a coin-saw and encountered various doctors/specialists/MO and few of them really inspired me wherelse others remind you not to ever ADOPT/PRACTICE their qualities of being a doctor.Not to boast,but I think and am sure I show better quality/attitude towards my patients than themselves.Staff nurses who were estrangers previously have grown to be part of my buddies...guess being in the ward from beginning till the end had made them go "lama tak nampak?"..."lama?" "it's not even 2 weeks la kak,in Palliative Care Unit for my final 2 weeks"-and that was my answer when I revisited the ward.It brings back a smile when a staff nurse buys you a milo ice in the canteen..."I dah bayar for you" with a cheeky smile:) Your cheeks will turn pink when another house officer tells you on visits,"so I heard good things about you from the staff nurse". I dare not to say that I will miss the hecticness and noisy environment which had captivated me all this while yet good memories will remain and first posting is always something to be remembered about.

I was like given an extra 2 weeks of holidays before my posting ends when I was sent to Palliative Care Unit.Normally,it's the most 'chilling' 2 weeks of periphery as was decribed by many house officers.The first day I was in the ward,it felt too unusual when I saw only 7 patients(the maximum) been warded.IT was too quiet and calm compared to in my previous ward.Many had no idea how the ward functions but these 2 weeks I learned new approaches on management on terminally ill patients who have no potential in getting back on their feet to do their normal routine like any of us.To make it simple,patients in this ward are mainly managed for their pain because many of them are stricken by final stage of cancer and as per request by family members,they will be warded there.There's no active management for example if they stop breathing spontaneously/if there's no palpable carotid/radial artery pulse,you don't have to do CPR to bring their hearts back to life.THere's no routine blood taking here,perhaps once in awhile when the patient looked very much confused or for newly admitted/referred patients.The main aim is to make the patients as comfortable as possible and to let them die peacefully as they can't be managed/treated by surgery/chemotherapy/radiotherapy.

They say experience and the years of seeing cases will make one more wiser and a better doctor than anyone else.I just got to agree on this phrase as this Palliative ward is under the ex-director of the hospital.A very humble man indeed and the wrinkles and his white hair covered by 'songkok' will clearly tell you working with him will make you a better doctor.He had passed down qualities of a medical practitioner and made few procedures possible to be done by a house officer.I was lucky enough to had the chance of aspirating fluids from the abdominal and pleural cavities of patients and I am more confident now on doing those procedures:)Thanks to you,Dato' Dr.Clinic days were fun when I had to clerk new cases in the room of specialist before presenting the cases to him.His string of jokes can make anyone break into laughter.He is willing to teach and share his knowledge,and that sets him apart from others.

On Sunday will be my last day in the Palliative ward without me realising I could feel now that I have more to miss let it be the environment,the Dato's teachings and even the nurses.Whatever that had been gained will remain till the end and will be treasured.

And you wanna give a wild guess?Second posting awaits me after 4 days of break;)The satisfaction is there when 'thank you,doctor'-is uttered,yet I think i need to do more as this is just a baby step of mine.I had set my mind not to let compliments to get into my head and I know all I got to do is to do the best I can and not to risk others' lives.A promise made on graduation day will be carried till the end.

However it maybe or whichever long winded path of this medical profession brings me,I know for sure this is where my passion lies and this is what I want to be and do. Thank you for the first 4 months to everyone who made it possible and this kudos goes especially for myself:p

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