is there SOMETHING still left?

we're Malaysians and let us be proud to be one.
19th August'11 @ 0107

Malaysia has lost its identity which it once had.I miss my Malaysia.I miss dearly the Malaysia that I once grew up,the Malaysia which once had been the role model for other nations for Its best exemplary in housing multi-racial citizens.It was once,I highly doubt it if it is still.

The Malaysia that I'm seeing now is a total 'new' Malaysia.I believe I was not away for too long,was I?it was only for 6 years and the new look of Malaysia is very much saddening,especially when a foreigner(s) write(s) about this land of ours with much disappointment.It's even heartbreaking when you see the many entries on the staronline page :"why I want to emigrate from Malaysia?".The emigrate word always out wins the immigrate word and makes us think "has Malaysia become worse over the years?".Where's our manners and ethics as Malaysians?Where is our ever ready smiley face in greeting politely a tourist(s) /in aiding a lost visitor(s)?Where is our "please have my seat,grandma/grandpa/pregnant lady/special child" on public transports?Where is our slowing down the car's speed while nearing the pedestrian walk?Where is our giving way to an elderly who's trying with much difficulties to cross a road?Where? where and where?Have all these inherited values in us vanished into the thin air with modernisation?Does it hurt to practice more humanly and with love and care?

I grew up in a multi-racial neighbourhood.Though we're not like the neighbours of the rural areas,never once we have forgotten the surrounding neighbours whom we considered as our nearest relatives.I went to national schools ever since my childhood days.I never once thought of or even cared to ask my parents "why did you enrol me in Sekolah Kebangsaan?"but now personally I know,many parents are opting for International Schools for their betterment of the children's education.I don't blame their decision when there are many setbacks in our national schools in present.For God's sake,students education/studies are not something to be toyed around,it's either you stick to Bahasa Malaysia or Bahasa Inggeris,stop contemplating on it,will you?This issue has been going on for years and there's still no final decision about it.When will this end?When I was in school ( I'm proud to call myself a RPSian) even in my previous primary school,the teachers were fair to all of us without labelling us by skin colours(it happens now in schools),the marking system was fair,teachers had the time to explain to us and guide us throughout our school years without lacking in their responsibilities.They don't wash off their hands by saying "I know you're going for tuitions" or giving extra tuitions after schooling hours to gain extra wages.Few of us never even went for tuition classes during our early years.Teachers are more dedicated and qualified during the past years but now???I spent most of my time with classmates who are mostly malays,chinese and only maximum of 4 indians in my class.We were a happy family.I'm not ashamed to say " we used to sing..I love you,you love me,we're one big happy family" yes it is from the tv show "barney and friends".Not a morning goes by without us greeting each other once we entered the classroom.We enjoyed each others company very much,lived as a family over the years,together I mean as we advanced each year.That's why I still miss my schooling life which holds the most unforgetful memories given by my fellow classmates.The people that i encounter in present are very much the opposite.I don't judge a person by first meet but I can say again,it has come down to you're indian,and I'm not,now.I feel alienated in my own country,I will tell you why.I don't care if you call me a bragger but I can proudly say,in my school,we have no separate clubs for extra curricular activities such as :Indian Society/Chinese Society or Persatuan Agama Islam.We mingle around with everyone.These are the small things in segregation(practiced by many schools) which has already given a biggest impact on us.I don't know how many students do this but when I was in school,my fellow indian friends(my close friends and seniors) and I did not speak in our mother tongue while conversing.Despite the fact that I was a prefect,i was encouraged by my parents to speak more in english and malay in school and I can assure and as were told by many,I don't have the Indian accent while conversing in Malay.At times,people could mistaken me as a Malay girl while on the phone.The many best friends that I have and still in touch with comprise Malays,Chinese and Indians and even till now,I can hang out with them and still longing for outings with them.

I'm blessed to have such sweet and wonderful memories of school where racial discrimination wasn't present,at least not in the environment that I grew up.Perhaps it was there in 90's and before the millennium,but as a student,we were only exposed to 'good' news on tv and during the those days,Internet accessibility was considered still 'scarce' and it was monitored under the vigilant eyes of parents.I don't remember surfing for extra source of news on Malaysia beside 'the always right and no flaw' news on the television.Under the reign of my most favourite politician,without any doubt,Malaysia has emerged as the best developing nation around the world and double standard among the races were not prominent,unlike right now.I have always been an avid reader and I do keep myself updated about Malaysia even when I was abroad but came to a point I just lost interest on the daily melodramas of Malaysian news on racism,crime rates at stake,the conflict over power...and it's sickening to read all these when they don't bring any betterment for the people.

You declare 1Malaysia.Everywhere I turn...there's definitely something about 1Malaysia.What do you understand by that declaration?There will be no 1Malaysia ever if in government offices when a government worker answers you half-heartedly,with a very bitter face and to very much dismay portraying the real racist attitude by saying " saya sudah asingkan India untuk memudahkan kerja" when you were looking for your already filled up form for interview.Does that make sense to you?It would have been more logical to think if only she had done her part by separating male and female applicants' forms.You might think I am being rude but I found my form and I walked off without even thanking her.Sorry,I have no respect for her.I have never encountered this type of situation and when it happened it actually jolted me back to reality and I know I'd be seeing this more.

Despite all these,I still love my Malaysia.This is my country.I have been to other countries but the thought of emigrating has never occurred to me,because I know this is where I belong.For me,Malaysia is still the best country besides all the chaos and instability that's been going on. We carry it's name as "I am a MALAYSIAN" wherever we go.I just want back my previous harmonious Malaysia and that's my only wish for the coming 54th Hari Merdeka.We're one and I still prefer to call myself as a Malaysian First rather than I am an Indian.There will be no changes in this statement.

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