single or double?!

26th September'11 @ 1149

If there is a debatable topic that never loses attention from it's readers,it has to be the evergreen topic on "marriage or staying single?".2 days ago,it was once again published in the most widely read TheStar.Like always,the writer always finds his way out after making up an entry.Smart move by the writer- by writing on the both sides of the story but what I liked best about that particular person who penned down his/her thoughts-everything was written in a more positive remarks on interviewed opinions of the outsiders.Too fantasy-like to be real,you might wonder?But isn't that a good motivator for someone who's planning to get hitched?Otherwise,we have our very own command of ourselves to agree or disagree.However,something just crossed my mind at this very moment and now it got me thinking.Wait...perhaps the writer was biased because the printed names of the interviewers are all women's!!!Now..where he/she(the writer of the column) is getting to?

What is/are the reason(s) of choosing only women to participate on finding a resolution for this topic?Isn't it supposed to be a 2 way street approach?Well,prolly..the writer thought only women will give the most honest and idealistic answers to his/her questions? or can it be he/she couldn't find any males on his/her hunt? or he/she only wanted what actually a carrier/modern women think about marriage?...

Centuries ago,marriage was a necessity in life as women are the housewives and men were the sole breadwinners of the families.In certain ethnic families or best example in India ( and I heard it is still being practiced till now in rural and traditional villages) whereby,once a child is born,he/she (most of the baby girl) will be 'unofficially married' to the near-related cousins,regardless of the age.It is believed the husband and wife bond has been established from the birth and once the girl attains her puberty,she will be officially married and sent off to her husband's house...and by that time,she would probably just a 12 year old kid,an age when she should be studying/enjoying her teen days.That wasn't an epic story but sadly certain things can't be changed even at this modern era.

I remember very clearly,during my Form 6 MUET classes,we were given a topic for discussion by our most respectable mentor,Mrs.Anna which sent giggles and soft roars from all of us when we heard the title " which one is better?staying single or getting married?".Believe me more than half of the class chose the former,including me.The pretty,tall,slim Indian lady stood still looking at the show of hands on voting for 'staying single'.As she was counting silently the number of raised hands,she smiled and finally she chose few of us to come in front of the class and read out our points.As you would have guessed;girls,we said something very much in common: WE HAVE MORE TIME FOR OURSELVES.Mrs Anna's verdict : "Girls,let everything happen naturally and you got to experience every single phase of life".

Marriage takes up lots commitments and there are many failed marriages because people got married for the sake of getting into one.The mass media,peer,family and society pressure are what drives one to get married when one is not even able to fend for himself.Every new phase in life appears to be exciting and fun at the beginning but it tends to fade as it gets to become a routine and maybe the cause of boredom, and that's when many unexpressed words were hurled at each other.I think one shouldn't let 3rd party to decide what's best for himself/herself.There's always bright and dark side in every event that takes place in your life,do what you think is good for you.Want to get married when you're think you're fully up for it?Go for it and make sure to sustain the relationship and appreciate the other half of you till the last breath of yours.

Since this is my post,I'd like to make a very natural-opinion based entry,still with a tinge of a young lady's personal view .The woman of new age which I'm portraying here is someone who's humble despite her success,firm and determined with her stand. Women tend to detest marriage not because of their superiority feeling being a renowned corporate/working ladies,but it's because what they've been hearing,seeing,experiencing and exposed to.Leave behind television with their never ending romance filled movies,certain mega serials can stretch for years with only episodes of love,hatred,vengeance...arrghh,sickening.When you hear stories of breakups from your besties,you'll tend to grow apart from the thought of wedding bells.Personally when it happens to you,the final decision will be made not to get yourself attached with any emotionally related relationships.

Life is not as simple as how they telecast in tv or how it is aired or it is written in the newspapers/magazines.It summons up whatever that's with and in you to take up a commitment of life time and in order to not let yourself feel fooled or taken for granted because you definitely need the best.Cosmopolitan women are not arrogant/ignorant/snobbish(well not all,mind you).We are still well-virtued.All that being asked from the XY population is,accept women as they are.Recognise the ability,respect them and treat them equally.Why do you have to feel inferior when a woman earns/educated higher than you?Men say,one shouldn't have ego in a relationship,so how do you classify that when inferiority complex swells you from within?Learn to digest the fact,women are far more independent now(isn't that a plus?do you want someone who clings to you on petty things?) but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy your company.We just don't want to burden you and on the same note,we are not your scapegoats/maids at home.We're not weaker sex as labelled by many.But how many of you out there will accept this fact?How many of you will treat their women(wife) as their bestest friend?How many of you will respect their ambitions in life?Any guys out there willing to go the extra mile?

As I mentioned above,women are not against marriage but a woman's feelings are very fragile.Once the trust or her heart has been broken,I'd doubt it if she'd go for another experience of the same kind when she has already have what she needs...beautiful family,assets,wonderful carrier..why spend time with someone who's not even worth a penny?

Later if you bump into an old spinster/non-married woman,quit foul-mouthing,you'll never know what might have cost her to become one.

Everyone falls in love.Yes,everyone..I will strongly disagree if any of you say "No,I've never did and will never".Everyone falls in love at a certain age of their lives.It's either you admit the truth or hide it under your sleeves but remember "never regret for anything that had made you smile before" .

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